tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31699173926054963192024-03-13T11:40:22.409+00:00Lesism - by Les FloydAfter decades of sleepwalking through life, I've finally woken up and realised the greatest dreams are achieved with open eyes and a conscious mind...Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-21852185659027273252013-10-29T21:38:00.000+00:002016-01-21T12:20:13.972+00:00Another You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #073763;">Imagine if a couple of crazy bio-engineers knocked on your
door one morning and presented you with an almost identical clone of yourself.
It looked like you, walked, talked and acted in the exact same way as you do;
it had the same scars and wrinkles, the same weight and fitness levels, the
same dreams and ambitions… the <i>exact same</i>
potential…</span></span><span style="color: #073763;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The only difference, they said, between this new you and the
older model you inhabit is that when the recent arrival set its mind on a task,
whether great or small, it was able to apply tireless dedication to the job of
completing that task.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Rather than sitting on the couch, eating comfort cream cakes
because you broke your healthy-eating pledge within 12 hours, after succumbing
to the understandable temptation of a milk chocolate Hob Nob, then decided you
were a complete failure at everything and always had been, the driven you –
having lapsed for an almost identical, tasty biscuit - would be out on a brisk
walk, taking the opportunity not even to start again, but to continue,
recognising that a biscuit does not herald personal Armageddon, and that a few
extra minutes of stomping the streets will soon burn off the calorific content
of the sneaky snack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And while you’re glaring at the computer monitor - obsessed
with levelling up your Norwegian Forest Cat character on World of Hello Kitty
Craft - your facsimile is getting on with the creative projects that you could,
without all the procrastination, have finished literally years ago. They’ve
just written ‘The End’ on that first novel you’d given up pretending to
yourself you’d ever finish, and it only took them weeks of disciplined work to
get it done, at last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Your clone decided to give up the bad habits you shared. It
made the choice and just did it – no whining and no looking back. It breathes
fresh air, eats mostly healthy, nutritious food, takes regular exercise. If it
goes out on a social whirl, it drinks responsibly and arrives home conscious,
able to make it out of bed with ease at dawn the next day, while you’re still
groaning and kicking yourself at Sunset, nursing a hangover so severe that you
become convinced that an Eastern European government agent must have spiked you
with some cruel and agonising poison that was leading you through to a
lingering, miserable death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">With the money it saved on cutting out all the unnecessary
and impulse purchases (of diet drinks, chocolate bars, tobacco, wine, etc.)
even its bank balance was looking healthy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Without doubt, even though the two of you were on exactly
the same footing, with the very same potential, before the experiment began,
you can guarantee that ten years down the line (and barring the occurrence of
an unfortunate accident or ailment), the clone is going to find itself in a
much more comfortable position in life, compared to the apathetic, unmotivated,
self-defeating Mark I who blew that same decade on hope and good intentions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And ten years later, to the day, those mysterious men come
back to check on their experiment. The clone has done so well, won awards and
even become something of a minor celebrity, so the scientist can’t even take it
back to the lab for the thorough autopsy they were so excited about performing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You look at this other you and realise it doesn’t look like
you any more. It looks like how you wished you looked. It has achieved things
you wish you had achieved, been places you’d always hoped to go but never
actually made it to…<br />
<br />
And then the bio-wizards reveal the awful truth…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">… that there was never any difference between you and your
double. You were perfect copies and all along, you were always just as capable
of invoking the same determination that would have allowed you, too, to live
your life to the same fullness.</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><em>(P.S. If you've enjoyed this and have the will and ability to contribute to my
‘fighting fund’… donations would be most welcome through PayPal, at
‘Lesism@btinternet.com’. Anything would be greatly appreciated!)</em></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-24046467742292705462013-10-07T00:15:00.001+01:002016-01-21T12:20:34.790+00:00A Cat’s Guide to Coping with Grief<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The past two weeks have been an ordeal for us humans here at
the homestead, but through the sadness of losing their Mum, our remaining cats
- brothers Titan and Orion – have been a constant source of comfort and kitty
cuddles. Their father ran out on them before they were born. Scratchy was their
<b><i>parents</i></b>,
and now they are orphaned. It really should be us furless ones consoling <b><i>them</i></b>.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Yet, the boys get along with their cattypuss routine just as
they did before. There’s a little more food in their dish at din dins, a little
less poop in the litter tray and extra space on the bed to choose from when
curling up to sleep, but there’s no trauma… no frantic pacing of the house,
crying and howling, mourning the loss of their dear mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As the cyber-pandemic of hyper-viral cat memes shows, we
like to project opinion upon our kitties, and though I’m sure there have been a
number of moments and incidents since Scratchy died that I could narrate as the
boys recognising their loss, they would be romantic imaginations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">One such event was that I was cuddling them both on my bed
and – which happens rarely – they were close beside each other. Titan gave a
polite nod to Orion, before bopping foreheads, and – almost unheard of – Orion
didn’t feel he had to retaliate. He bopped right back, with a purr. I wondered
if they realised it was just the two of them, now, and maybe they were becoming
closer because of it. Almost the instant I thought that, Titan bit Orion’s ear.
He couldn’t resist it. It’s what he does. Orion leapt up and swiped Titan
across the face, then he jumped off the bed and ran downstairs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The truth is, they’re just getting on with their lives, doing
what they always do, and though, through the filter of the human ego, it may
seem they’re coldly aloof to Scratchy’s disappearance, it gives me peace that
they don’t grieve like we do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Eckhart Tolle famously wrote: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">“I’ve lived with several Zen masters - all of them cats.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Such truth, and we can learn so much about present awareness
just by making our fluffy companions the focus of our attention… and, thus,
zoning into the moment. Depending on their schedule and assuming they have free
time for a massage, lovingly stroking a kitty is a perfect portal to a
wrap-around experiment in mindfulness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(There will be so many people out there who will <b><i>insist</i></b>
that practicing mindfulness is too difficult, to the point of assuming it’s
personally impossible, yet they’ll do it like masters when they’re pampering
their pussies.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In the first few days after Scratchy departed, I’d look at
Titan and Orion and get a sick feeling in my chest, wondering which one would
be next… which one would be left… how much longer would I have with them? I
soon recognised and recalled, though, that that was just my stupid ego-brain
thinking – not to be listened to, as usual - and miring myself in such consideration
was wasting both our time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now, once again, I find myself hypnotised by them as they
flop down beside me, purring and snuggling in beside my chest, or as they dance
around the garden, tails up, chasing a moth or something that most likely isn’t
even there. I watch, listen and feel… and smell, too, occasionally, when they
yawn mid-cuddle and I get a waft of cat breath. (I was going to say that no, the
final of the five senses is off the agenda when immersed in the cat
appreciation experience, but I swear, sometimes Titan lets one off and it is so
thick and rancid a pollutant of the air, you do seem to be able to taste it,
even if you evacuate to other areas of the house.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Focussing the senses allows us to become reacquainted with joys
the mind has long-ago labelled mundane. You can drive through the same stunning
woodland every weekday morning, but only ever see the road. You can look at
your partner and see a familiar face, rather than get that rush of adoration,
lust and gratitude that used to hit you in the early days of your relationship.
A purr can be just a noise you hear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Invoking present awareness gives us the opportunity to refresh
our experience of life. It can be a challenge to <b><i>keep on</i></b> refreshing,
especially when you feel like you’re under artillery assault from the
encircling armed forces of Shitland, but the wild thing is that – truly in
every moment; including the toughest moments – we can step back into our
tranquil centre and let go… even just for a little while… shutting out the
mental clatter and all the drama that whistles and whirls around us as we forge
forward along these paths we choose to walk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’d like to come back as a cat, if reincarnation works. Our
‘superior’ Super-Ape brains are good for a great many things – such as
inventing the Internet and discovering the perfect recipe for Carrot Cake –
but, despite all the philosophical rumblings from humanity over these past few
thousand years of so-called civilisation, cats are far our superior when it
comes to just chilling out and letting worries drift away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Cats are indeed our little Zen teachers, and not everyone
will be fortunate enough to learn from them, but I am grateful for all the
lessons from my feline friends, past, present and future. I will aspire to be more like a cat from meow on!</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><em>(P.S. If you've enjoyed this and have the will and ability to contribute to my ‘fighting fund’… donations would be most welcome through PayPal, at ‘Lesism@btinternet.com’. Anything would be greatly appreciated!)</em></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-24020844397687565352013-10-01T18:03:00.001+01:002013-10-05T16:59:21.548+01:00Awakening (Part Three) - Reawakening<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_Y4owLc3hEw/Ukr_7LUxFrI/AAAAAAAABGg/Pe90k_xzebk/s1600/Reawaken.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_Y4owLc3hEw/Ukr_7LUxFrI/AAAAAAAABGg/Pe90k_xzebk/s400/Reawaken.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was sitting out in my back garden, a few nights ago, on
the old, broken-armed office chair that was once in my room, and I was crying
my heart out, lost in what felt like a new depth of sadness and grief. I’ve
really never had to endure such emotional trauma in life, before.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Losing my precious and beloved kitty, Scratchy, last week,
and with my Mum’s passing still seeming so raw, as well as my eldest brother’s
precarious state of health and a close encounter with the afterlife by my Dad… and
add in my own near-fatal medical emergency, last October, and you can perhaps
empathise, if not sympathise, with the overwhelming feeling that life has been
a rotten bastard to me this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I sat there, looking up at the stars but not seeing them,
and I knew that I was just a few days into what could be months of grieving.
Scratchy was my family. Some people won’t understand that, and I pity them.
She’s been such an important part of my life for sixteen-and-a-half years. I love
her. I miss her. There are too few cats in my house, now. Her loss is massive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I couldn’t see the way forward. All I wanted to do was
collapse in some dark, warm corner, wrapped in a big duvet, and ride out the
next few months by sleeping, but that would spell absolute disaster on the
accommodation front. I need to make money, but inaction is not conducive to the
income of shinies. Yet, I felt emotionally wrung out and just so consumed by
misery that I couldn’t imagine being able to write anything creative, positive or
inspiring to make money from, at least for a good while ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I got annoyed with myself, thinking: ‘Why don’t you practise
what you preach, Les?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With that reminder to myself… that break in that turmoil of
emotion I was choking on… I sat up straight, put my hands on my knees, closed my
eyes and listened to the night; the faint hiss of traffic on the motorway, a
few miles away; the light breeze in the trees and the soft rustling of leaves;
the cries and hoots of a very vocal owl that has taken up residence somewhere
in the village over the past few weeks…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few moments later, I felt as clear-headed and tranquil as
I did on the mountain in Lochgoilhead. Just as I’ve written, so many times, all
that emotional agony slipped away and I was at peace again. Even though this
period of life could be fairly described as the worst I’ve ever experienced, I
was able to invoke present awareness and return to my calm centre.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wiping the tears from my eyes and face, I questioned myself
again. There was nobody else around. I’d been sitting there, crying alone, so
who was this show of sorrow for? For me? Really? When what I needed most in my
life was strength, I was disabling myself with grief?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The tears weren’t helping my Mum or Scratchy – they weren’t
going to drop on the ground and magically bring them back to life. Nor did they
have any healing benefit to my sick brother or my Dad, or any financial value
that I could add towards securing accommodation and a stable future. And they
most certainly weren’t helping me in any way whatsoever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It dawned on me that grief is just another manifestation of
the ego and, however many excuses I could make and reasons I could find to
justify my weakness, I was feeling sorry for myself – and, it was only that
which was separating me from a return to having a happy and productive life, to
building a future of my own design.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m accepting of death. I don’t fear it. Wherever my loved
ones go to, I’ll follow, when it’s time. Whether that be to some sparkly
afterlife or an eternal sleep is not important to me, while I’m alive. I know
they’re at peace and I’ll join them there when I have to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The thing about grief is that it’s so addictive. You don’t
want to climb out of it, as if wallowing in that hole is some kind of show of
loyalty or respect to those you’ve lost… but like I’ve written before in my
blog, those same souls would never want to expose us to such terrible emotional
pain. They would want us to be happy – no question about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, it all boils down to the same egoic process of
malfunctioned thinking that finds pain in the mismatch between what the mind
wants, and what is real and tangible in the world we experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Many people have told me that it’s okay to cry… even that
it’s necessary… but it’s okay not to cry, too, and I don’t mean to any longer,
now I can see so clearly that I’ve been crying for myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The housing situation became unexpectedly critical over the
weekend, with my eldest brother telling us that – because he’s coming up to 12
weeks in hospital, in a period of one year – most of his benefits are due to be
stopped, since the government see him as effectively living in hospital. My
other brother and I just can’t afford to keep the house on, as things stand,
and this was another thing that was eating away at me… not so much losing
accommodation, but losing the <b><i>home</i></b> I’ve spent most of the days of
my life in and all the memories and sentiment attached to it, as well as the
fact that I have dear kitties and other creatures buried in the back garden.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m not worried about that, now. If I have an attachment to
this house which will cause me pain when I’m parted from it, then I have to let
it go. Perhaps some new family will take over the tenancy and dig up the bones
of my pets, but those bones are <b><i>not</i></b> the creatures I loved so much. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The weight of the world has fallen from my shoulders. Life
is exactly the way it is, and I choose to accept that, rather than wish, to no
avail, it were different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel as present and serene as I did when I experienced my '<a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/awakening.html" target="_blank">Awakening</a></span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">’,
back in February 2010, and do feel this is a ‘Reawakening’. I’ve managed to
purge all the junk in my head and open my heart to a new beginning… to accept
loss of even this magnitude as part and parcel of life… and to know that
there’s nothing now that can happen that will drag me so far down, again, into
that emotional tar pit I’ve been struggling through over the course of the past
twelve months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, whilst enduring my greatest weakness, I’ve found my
greatest strength again, and I’m reminded of how powerful a tool present
awareness is, as well as how important it is that I keep sharing my
experiences. I’m qualified to write and talk about mindfulness and death, now –
which, before all this cascading tragedy began, I knew would be my greatest
challenge to practicing being in the moment. I’ve passed the test, and I’m sure
there will be many out there in the world who would like to learn how to
alleviate their own pain in such times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I also want to teach young adults present awareness. As much
as I accept my life as it has been, and many of the ‘failures’ have helped
build spiritual muscles that I was never aware of before, I spent too many
years deluding myself that the world was torment, when – apart from the sad
song of depression I kept singing to myself – it was actually pretty cosy.
There are too many people who are lost in depression when they could and should
be having the time of their life, and it would be great to nudge some of them
towards a more positive and enriching way of living.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel a little like the protagonist in a three act
structure of a play. The rules are, at the end of the second act, the
protagonist must face an almost overwhelming challenge that threatens to destroy
them in some way, yet they come good and conquer it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">From Wikipedia:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“They must not only learn new skills but arrive at a higher sense of
awareness of who they are and what they are capable of, in order to deal with
their predicament, which in turn changes who they are.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And if life has meaning and there’s a purpose to everything
you experience and process, then I regard my <a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/awakening.html" target="_blank">Awakening</a> in 2010 as preparation
for the times I’m living through, at the moment. Without that event, I wouldn’t
be here. I couldn’t have faced things of late. Now, though, I feel like I’ve
moved up to a new level, and perhaps this new strength and wisdom is in
preparation for something else? As I said, I can’t envisage anything worse than
losing those I love, so maybe my Act Three is about teaching and learning and
living a good life, spreading peace and the jollies wherever I go and in
whatever I do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I choose that path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Awakening is a constant process of adaptivity to change.
It’s a spiritual bullshit detector that filters out the falsehood of the egoic
mind from the true joys and beauty in life, which you’ll see when you look at
it right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s not a magic trick. It’s not a superpower. It’s a truth
at the core of us, and we are all able to access this strength, whenever we
need it. Some of us have just forgotten how, so I’ll make it my mission in life
to remind them – and myself.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-65195483633663144822013-09-25T22:37:00.003+01:002014-02-10T20:52:08.991+00:00Goodbye Kitty<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vACLai7OHIY/UkNWweae3RI/AAAAAAAABFs/bYbVM1dOvCk/s1600/IMG_3323.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vACLai7OHIY/UkNWweae3RI/AAAAAAAABFs/bYbVM1dOvCk/s400/IMG_3323.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Curled up forever in my toasty-warm heart...</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was there the moment Itchy died, on Midsummer’s Eve,
fifteen years ago, and I was there for his twin sister, Scratchy, earlier this
evening, when the vet injected her with anaesthetic, prior to administering the
heart-stopper medication.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She was calm and didn’t struggle or seem disturbed in any
way. I looked into her eyes and told her I loved her – and I love her, oh gosh
– and then her eyes weren’t seeing me any more, and never will again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My beautiful little girl. I am typing this with tears
streaming down my face. It was the right decision, because she was so weak and
frail and ill… but, damn, it hurts so much to know that she’s dead. Gone. No
more purrs or head-butts or tail slinking around my lower leg as she brushes
past.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I explain how I first met her, along with her brother, in my
<b><a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2011/06/tale-of-two-kitties.html" target="_blank">A Tale of Two Kitties</a></b> blog. She’s been a constant source of love since we were
introduced, when she was an inquisitive kitten of eight weeks old. I’m coming
up to 40 and she’s been with me since my early 20s – sixteen-and-a-half years…
82 cat years. She is such a massive, massive part of my life… such an important
part of my family… and I just watched the light go out of her eyes.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XJWqUx0zWa0/UkNXI_XrtVI/AAAAAAAABF0/EZUOYvUjzsI/s1600/Itchy+&+Scratchy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XJWqUx0zWa0/UkNXI_XrtVI/AAAAAAAABF0/EZUOYvUjzsI/s400/Itchy+&+Scratchy.jpg" height="226" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h6Ui3wrbnEs/UkNXQe6ItwI/AAAAAAAABF8/gwaO3ufQ6Qg/s1600/NaughtyKitties.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h6Ui3wrbnEs/UkNXQe6ItwI/AAAAAAAABF8/gwaO3ufQ6Qg/s400/NaughtyKitties.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fierce kitties!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ibQY5tlE3cE/UkNXSsCRShI/AAAAAAAABGI/cI-TaVC1i6c/s1600/KittiesThree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ibQY5tlE3cE/UkNXSsCRShI/AAAAAAAABGI/cI-TaVC1i6c/s400/KittiesThree.jpg" height="298" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Titan, Scratchy & Orion</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-70607776744375708742013-09-22T09:43:00.001+01:002013-10-05T16:59:21.568+01:00Becoming a Dreamsmith<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ikwXPgf3TL8/Uj6qWGmpVQI/AAAAAAAABFc/0y380LOmL1U/s1600/Blacksmith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ikwXPgf3TL8/Uj6qWGmpVQI/AAAAAAAABFc/0y380LOmL1U/s400/Blacksmith.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Within reason, I believe we’re all capable of making our
dreams come true. And I say <i>within reason</i>
not to put a ceiling on our ambitions, but because if our dream was to fly a
giant Neapolitan ice-cream cone into the Sun, or become the first person to
invent time travel and kill Hitler, then – however noble the notion – that
would be a poor investment of our precious creative energy and quite silly, to
boot.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The sky’s far from the limit when you consider more <i>realistic</i> dreams people strive to
manifest. Realistic doesn’t mean the fulfilment of these objectives can’t be
incredible. Men have stood on the surface of the Moon. Out there on this planet
of ours, right now, someone will be dreaming of being the first person to set
foot on Mars… and they’ll do it, with their whole home world watching in awe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Andy Murray dreamed of winning Wimbledon, and he did it. It’s
taken a lifetime of gritted determination and dedication to get him into the
position of lifting that coveted trophy, and through that he’s achieved what no
other person in all of living humanity could achieve this year. All because he
turned his dreams into a plan and shaped his life the way he wanted it to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I believe we all have the capability to be Dreamsmiths – to
be able to forge the lives we want to live, rather than feel we have to accept
someone else’s pre-fabricated expectation of what we should and shouldn’t do
with our days of human consciousness. (Again, within reason… it’s naughty to
rob banks with guns, for example, and I think it’s best just to accept that
there are some rules that we really should abide by, unless we want total
anarchy.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of my pretentious quotes is thus:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Turn your dreams into plans, but don't allow your plans to
turn into dreams.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I doubt there’s a human alive who’s reached 21 without
seeing at least a single plan degrade back into a mere dream, but I think the
above is a good rule, when you apply a present perspective. The past is gone
and the future doesn’t exist, so even if you’ve fumbled and dropped dozens of
dreams over the years, it doesn’t mean you can’t give your all to making this
next one happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And, paradoxically, because the future doesn’t exist, we
have the power, still, to bend the Universe around us, so when the moment comes
and we step into that perceived future, we’ll find true satisfaction there of a
job well done. That moment may not be <i>exactly</i>
how we imagined it, but it would be a damn site different if we hadn’t toiled
with blood, sweat and tears to get there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is there really any truly valid reason why all of us
shouldn’t be following our dreams? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Perhaps we give up on them too early? Or maybe we set them
aside and get on with running the rat race or having children, then come back
years later to find them mouldy and broken? When the broken dreams start
stacking up, I guess we become weary of investing our hearts in such pursuits
again, and we stop dreaming altogether.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As with the case of world-class, professional athletes or
prospective astronauts, it takes enormous self-discipline to achieve their
dreams, but what I find interesting about that is we also have that same
ability of self-discipline, as part of our hard-wiring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m rubbish at self-discipline, but, sometimes, I can do it
like a pro. That the times I do it like a pro are in a poor negative ratio to
the procrastinating, frustrated, brain-aching moments is undoubtedly the
biggest productivity issue I have in my attempts to squeeze words out of my
head and into the Interlands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But understanding that I can <i>sometimes</i> do it allows me to see that the only thing stopping me
from doing it <i>whenever needed</i> is my
damn ego and all the crazy wiring in my brain, which, through present
awareness, I’m starting to unravel and connect back to the right places. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I imagine many people reading have experienced or are
experiencing a similar confusion in executing their dreams. I think it’s called
‘being human’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, more than ever, I need to make my dreams come true, and
I want to write about it in a way that will inspire others, because I don’t
have a super-brain or any special mental or supernatural powers, and if I can
tip the action to procrastination scale far enough to showcase a burst of
creative sunshine that sustains and lights the path to my new way of life, then
I really do believe anyone can achieve the similar results and transformations,
respective to their own lives and ambitions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With that, I’d like to invite others to join me in this
drive of renewed determination and resolve to change our lives for the better!
Um… we can call ourselves The Dreamsmiths, and maybe I’ll have some t-shirts
printed and posted out as a rubbish reward for reaching our targets and
fulfilling our dreams? We could have a special handshake, too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think sometimes it helps to bolster our intent by just putting
it out there and letting the world know what we want, and that we’re going to
get it. And then, when that initial enthusiasm evaporates - and, for example,
we’d rather stay in and watch TV, with a box of donuts, than go out for
that brisk walk we promised ourselves, with the objective of having those
entirely doable rock-hard abs next summer - we can use the public humiliation
and goading of our dear friends as a spur to get back into the zone and attack
our objectives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, if you want to share your dreams in the comments on this
blog, please feel free to do so – although, remember, there may be children
reading, so nothing weird! We can come back to it over the course of the next
year and congratulate ourselves for doing just (about) as we planned, offering
encouragement to each other in the meantime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here are a few of my dreams to kick it off…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My big dream is to provide instantly engaging, entertaining
video, audio and written material to people who are in the first steps of
getting help for problems with depression. I’m sure I share this experience
with many, but when you go to your local doctor with such concerns, it seems
the best they can do is throw you a prescription for antidepressants and, but
not always, arrange for you to see a counsellor/psychologist/community
psychiatric nurse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The problem here is that it takes up to two months for the
tablets to kick in, and the appointment with the shrinks will likely take
around the same time to arrange, if not longer, so you basically leave the
surgery with the exact same issue you went in with, except, perhaps, for a
grain of hope in finally doing something about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What I want to do is have material available immediately to
these people, directing them to tools and techniques they can use to bring a
little light to their darkness, when they need it most. It can be a grim
moment, stepping out of a doctors’ surgery and realising you’re carrying the
same weight of mental shrapnel as before, and two months more of that perceived
pain may seem an unbearable, lonely ordeal. It’s a dangerous time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m sure this plan would save lives, if I could do it
widespread, even internationally. It wouldn’t save everyone who considered and
then edged to the brink of suicide, but it would save some, and that would make
all and every effort towards achieving this dream very definitely worth it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course, there’s a great deal of work to be done to even
have a chance of forging this dream, but I’ve already started. However messy my
grand plan may appear to others, I have it all mapped out… well, bits of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Another of my dreams, perhaps in years to come when even my
shaved hair looks grey, I’d like to run a refuge in the Scottish mountains, for
people who just simply need a break from their lives and an opportunity to find
or rediscover the light of peace inside them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m sure many people in mental institutions around the world
would be far better treated in such a place of tranquillity – speaking with
experience as someone who has had two short stays in such establishments, though on a voluntary basis and without the need to wear the 'special tuxedo'.
You’re ignored for days and fed your meds, and, apart from the TV, there’s
barely any mental stimulation at all. Perhaps (and it’s very possible that)
things have changed in the two decades since I visited, but most people I met
were certainly not mad… just so damn tired of the negative dialogue in their
own minds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However, since I can’t control government policy on mental
health affairs, I will go for one big, friendly, welcoming, open house – a
converted hotel or farm – under a mountain, on the edge of a loch, where people
can just let go of the world outside the glen and concentrate on their own souls
and their own healing for once. I’d employ staff with skills in Reiki,
reflexology and whateverelseology that was beneficial to the calm in the
visitors’ minds. Oh… and definitely make sure a few of them were great with the
guitar, so they could rock it around the camp fire at the end of an easy day’s
therapy and scenery bathing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My more immediate dream is to give my Mum a proper funeral.
We had only a small ceremony at her cremation, here in Carlisle, but it was
planned that she’d have her ashes scattered in Birkenhead, Merseyside, where
she was born and brought up. Sadly, and maddeningly, at the time, there were
some issues of ‘family politics’ which scuppered the deal, and we – her
children – couldn’t afford to cover the costs. We just about covered the
cremation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are still many people who want to say their final
goodbye to my Mum, and I know there will be masses of people at the service,
when it happens. She was and is well loved. Until her ashes are scattered over
the graves of her parents – as she always told us she wanted – it’s always
going to be painful, unfinished business. The ashes are currently in a plastic
tub, like you get muscle-building protein powder in, and that tub is inside an
offensively bright gift bag. It gets me every time when I look at it. It
doesn’t give me the creeps… it fills me with regret, and I don’t usually do
regret.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My closing dream is to actually get off my arse and get fit.
Again, if I can do this, there must be so few other people in the world who
have a genuine excuse not to do the same, because I’m 39 and I’ve been up and
down and up in weight for literally as long as I can remember. Now, I want
body, mind, heart and soul to resonate with the same frequency, so I’m going to
rewire a whole new ethos of physical care, including drastic measures such as
stopping eating cheese sandwiches altogether.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Those are my plans. Some will take longer than others
and probably happen at just the right time, but they’re the focus of my intent,
and I firmly believe I can forge these dreams into substance, whilst, at the
same time, enjoying all the life that bubbles my way in between.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I really do hope people will jeer me in the street and online
if it seems like I’m starting to drift off course or stall with my plans.
Sometimes, all it takes is a good jeer to get things moving again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Congratulations, by the way, if you’ve got to the end of
this blog. That’s the sort of stamina Murray used to take the title at
Wimbledon! You’ve already taken your first step to a better,
determination-driven life! ;-)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Non-invasive hugs,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Les x</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-46071356568116086392013-08-20T08:52:00.001+01:002013-10-05T16:59:21.559+01:00Life Goes On<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sANA9_FEHJY/UhMfrs2fV4I/AAAAAAAABCM/Sl1fKMc3bZ0/s1600/Dawn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sANA9_FEHJY/UhMfrs2fV4I/AAAAAAAABCM/Sl1fKMc3bZ0/s320/Dawn.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">I think it’s fair to say it’s been a rough year. I’ve felt
the razor cut of physical and emotional pain at a level far deeper than my
previous dark imaginings. I’ve been confronted with the imminent possibility of
my own death, then wandered lost in that unique and surreal fog of sorrow that
descends when you lose the person you love most in the world.</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If this Universe is also our university, then I feel like
I’ve passed an important exam and should get a certificate or a badge, because
– despite all the heart-shattering turbulence over the past twelve months – I’m
still here, living and breathing and filled with potential. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As some of you who follow me from Socialmediashire will
know, I suffered a collapsed lung last October. That diagnosis was actually
good news, because I thought the excruciating pain in my chest was a heart
attack, but as the medics attempted to surgically insert a drain tube, to help reflate
the lung – which should have been a very simple procedure, apparently – there
were a few mishaps that set in motion a much more serious threat to my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Later in the evening, lying in a hospital bed (in a
hospital), I noticed the left side of my chest was beginning to swell. I
mentioned it to the nursing staff and it was hypothesised that it was ‘surgical
emphysema’ – when air leaks from the lungs and into the tissue around the chest
and neck, which often happens after surgery, hence the name – but I’d had that
before, when I was in my early twenties, and there was a completely different feel
to my skin. With surgical emphysema, there’s a ‘crackle’… like hundreds of tiny
layers of bubble wrap popping when you press against it… but with this, it was
firm, like muscle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">An hour or so after that, I literally had a boob like Pamela
Anderson. Also, the morphine I’d been given before the third botched attempt to
insert the drain tube, when I was admitted, was wearing off, and I felt
agonising, paralysing physical pain for the first time in my life. I couldn’t
move an inch in that bed without wanting a vet to burst in with a shotgun and
do the humane thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was late at night and, even when I managed to get the
attention of one of the nurses (I’m too English to shout out), it took a short
eternity for her to summon a doctor to see me, so he could authorise my pain
relief. In that intervening time, I was seriously considering phoning an
ambulance. Really.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dMCwhfH6t9s/UhMf3-VQkgI/AAAAAAAABCU/7qzUuc0TOVI/s1600/IMG_5428.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dMCwhfH6t9s/UhMf3-VQkgI/AAAAAAAABCU/7qzUuc0TOVI/s200/IMG_5428.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My new lady breast turned out to be a massive haematoma. The
minor surgery, earlier on, had ruptured some vessels in my ribs and the whole
left side of my chest cavity was filling with blood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was transferred to Harefield Hospital – a specialist heart
and lung unit on the outskirts of London – and the ambulance that took me actually
did the whole flashing lights and sirens thing. As much as I found that rather
impressive and exciting, it did make me ponder that I may have some sort of time
bomb priming itself in my chest, ready to go off at any moment. I mean, when I
see an ambulance blaze past me with strobing lights and blaring sirens, I’m
thinking that there’s some poor bastard in the back, close to death… so it
really does feels quite odd to be confronted by the realisation that, today,
you’re the poor bastard in the back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was so strange to be visited by the surgeon and his team,
as well as the registrar, who talked me through the post-operative pain-killing
options and explained that I was about to undergo very serious surgery. It was
a genuinely life-threatening operation and I was already far weaker than
perhaps I forced myself to believe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I also had in mind the recent passing of my childhood
friend, Mandy, who had died on the operating table – in her very early 40s -
from internal bleeding, which was essentially what I was experiencing. My
blood, and lots of it, was in the wrong place, and I’m sure most doctors and
nurses would agree that’s generally a bad thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On the trolley, just outside the swing doors of the
operating theatre, the anaesthetist began to slowly press the plunger of the
syringe and I knew there was a unreasonably large possibility that those final
few seconds before the anaesthetic kicked in could actually be my last on this
Earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course, I tried to fight the effect. Not, though, because
I was afraid, but because I felt sure I could at least make it to the count of
ten before I blacked out. I don’t think I made it to 8.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I woke up and it was as though there were snowdrops falling
from a void, forming bright shapes and curious creatures that I didn’t recognise
for a while as fellow human beings. I was whacked up on some of the poshest
drugs you could imagine, lying in the High Dependency Unit, my ex-girlfriend
stroking my hand and probably nodding and smiling at me as I talked nonsense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the 24-hours previous, I hadn’t been allowed to eat or
drink, in preparation for the surgery. The thirst was almost unbearable. I’d
been sweating so much from the pain and the most I could do was take a sip of
water and swirl it around my mouth, then spit it out again. It was momentary
relief, like throwing water onto baking desert sand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I thought I’d be able to gulp down long, cool glasses of
water when I came to, but then came the badder news… that this operation had
only allowed them to evacuate the blood already in the wrong place, and they’d
have to perform a second bout of surgery the next day to fix the problem
properly. They’d left a pack inside me, to help them identify where the
bleeding was coming from, and the pressure and pain in my chest was immense…
and I still wasn’t allowed to have more than a tease of a drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On the plus side, during the first operation, they also
surgically implanted a morphine pump, which allowed me to self-medicate either
when I needed to, or every three minutes, which turned out to be the same
duration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Before going into theatre a second time, I asked the anaesthetist
to wait for a few seconds before he hit the plunger. I had a moment of
reconciliation. I didn’t think I was going to survive round two. At that
instant, I feel as though I stared death in the face and recognised there was
simply nothing to fear about it. I was ready, and I told the patient anaesthetist
to carry on. I don’t think I reached the count of five that time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course, I survived, but it was far too close to the edge
a few times along the way, and when recuperating from such an event in life –
especially when it’s the first time you’re shown that, actually, no, you’re not
invincible after all – there’s a psychological, as well as physical battle
involved as you move along the road to recovery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just as I felt as though I was climbing out of the mental snake
pit of my own calamity, my Mum’s health began to deteriorate. She went into
hospital on New Year’s Day and never came out again, passing away on the 17<sup>th</sup>
March. My heart was shattered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve survived, though, despite the fact it wasn’t too long
ago I would have put the money on me having bought myself a farm within a week
of my Mum dying. It was the event I feared most in my life… the unfathomable…
and to some extent it remains and always will remain unfathomable. Death messes
with the mind, however at peace you are with your own mortality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m stronger than I thought I would be. The arrow may still
be at ‘Lardster’ on my ‘Manfoxication Ambition Chart’, but I’ve developed a
great deal of psychological and spiritual muscle through enduring these trials
and I feel much more prepared to confront the challenges to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And my life is <i>collapsing</i>.
It hasn’t collapsed yet. It’s an ongoing process that I’ve just got to endure.
Both my Dad and my eldest brother nearly knock, knock, knocked on heaven’s door
during the past couple of months; my kitties are all ageing and not long of
this world, and it’s more than likely that I’ll be kicked out of this house in
the medium-term future… the house I was brought to from hospital, when I was a
big-boned baby… with the garden all my beloved menagerie of pets are buried,
including my beautiful Itchy and the legendary Mr Mouser. The thought haunts me
that their resting place could be desecrated by the new tenant’s desire to put
a patio over the grass. In fact, if we lost this place, we’d have to get my
cats adopted. That would rip me apart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yet, amidst all this tumultuous change, I feel fortunate
that I’ve been able to practice what I preach, in regard to present awareness.
Absolutely, though, I haven’t always been a perfect picture of peace and calm.
I still wake up crying and I still have days when I plunge into emotional air
pockets; I’ve been petulant and pissed off at the world and certain people in
it, but compared to my pre-awakening days, I’m pushing through this like a
champ.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What’s to come is a fleeting fear and I can lead myself out
of that, even if it takes a little time. What’s behind is beyond my control,
and if I fall into sadness, I re-emerge swiftly. I’m a human being, not some
‘bullet-proof guru’ and that understanding, flexibility and patience with
myself is cool with me. I’ve come a long way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve got to lay the path out of this chaos by working hard,
pushing myself further than I ever have before and developing my writing. I’m
humbled by how much my words appear to help others, and that’s the burning
passion at the heart of me. If there is such thing as a destiny, then I believe
the work I’ve been doing over the past couple of years is a major part of mine,
and the naysayers are just going to have to talk to my hand while I get on with
it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I never thought I’d have the peace of heart to say it, but
life really does go on.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-36920625804209045992013-03-27T04:25:00.000+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.556+01:00The Worst Day<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FAAPi3GVNLM/UVJzQAyLm0I/AAAAAAAAA18/H7Uo1_m_pF0/s1600/YoungMum.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FAAPi3GVNLM/UVJzQAyLm0I/AAAAAAAAA18/H7Uo1_m_pF0/s320/YoungMum.png" width="251" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I’m not sure which is the worst day: learning that the
person you love most in the world has passed away, or the ceremony of reducing
their body to ash. Both are very traumatic events. The fact that they
invariably occur within close proximity to each other is particularly
bastardly.</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was one of the pallbearers at my Mum’s funeral, this
morning. I had to stoop a little because the other three were a bit Hobbity in
comparison to my height of 6’4”. I met my siblings at a hotel for breakfast and
my hands were shaking, then, when I was trying to sip from the coffee cup… and a couple of hours later, I was entrusted
with my Mum’s coffin. I think the mild panic of not wanting to drop it
distracted my mind from the realisation that I was carrying a coffin with my
Mum’s body in it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was a bitterly cold morning with flecks of snow thrown
around in the wind, refusing to settle on the ground. It’s been like this for
days. It seems reflective of the bite of loss in my heart, though I’m warmed
and strengthened by the same love that makes this loss so terrible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The service was really lovely, as these things go. There
were quite a few people from the village, and, otherwise, close family and
friends, but it was a small affair. Most of my Mum’s family is from Birkenhead
– some 120 miles away – so we’re having a larger memorial service there in a
couple of weeks.<br />
<br />
After the minister had read some wonderful, inspiring and funny words from my
eldest brother, Paul, my Dad got up and spoke. Immediately, his voice broke, but
he pushed on through his short tribute, sobbing and wiping away tears. They had
been separated for around thirty years and I understood today that he’d always
loved her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wimped out on reading the eulogy I’d written for my Mum,
with another of my brothers, Steve, taking on the task instead. He spent around
thirty years with the Army and he’s one of the toughest guys I know, but I
think standing there today and reading it was one of the most difficult things
he’s ever done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is what I wrote for her:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“The last words my Mum spoke to me - almost inaudible, but so familiar
- were: “I love you.”<br />
<br />
Stephen wasn’t so lucky. Mum’s last words to him were: “Tell Paul to put the
chicken pie in the oven.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She had been in hospital for over two months. <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There was no chicken pie.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She was on morphine.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Paul was comforted on another occasion when Mum said she could see her late
brothers - our uncles, Dessie and Bernard, I think it was - standing at the
foot of her hospital bed, but that comfort was quickly torn away when she said:
<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“But they’re not here for me, they’re here for you!”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was almost a relief that Paul hadn’t made a surprise departure of
his own before she passed away, and that we know she hadn’t been making
prophecies, or we’d all be wondering, now, what the true relevance of the
chicken pie was.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mum and Dad celebrated their golden wedding anniversary in January. For
most of those 50 years, they were very happily married, due to the fact they
separated three decades ago, but never got round to divorcing. And it helped
that they lived at opposite ends of the country and barely spoke to one
another.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Although they may not have been a match made in heaven, their union
brought five children and, so far, five grandchildren into the world, and I know
Mum felt blessed by us all, as we felt and feel blessed by her.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Amongst my first memories of her were of ‘Magical Mummy Fibs’, the
majority of which, I learnt in later life, were advanced psychological tactics
for deployment exclusively against small children, in order to manipulate them
into giving their mother just a little bit of peace in their day.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These included the Sweet Fairy, who would leave Curley Wurleys and such
under the pillows of her bed, and we could only have them on the condition that
we lay down and napped for half an hour or so.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I also remember her telling me that Brotherhood of Man’s Eurovision
winner – ‘Save All Your Kisses For Me’ – was written about me. I was only two
at the time and she would kiss me all over my face when she told me. It’s one
of the cheesiest pop songs ever recorded, but whenever I listen to it, part of
me is drawn back to those halcyon days of childhood where there wasn’t a care
in the world.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is tough to comprehend that we’ll never see her again; that no more
will we hear her voice or listen to her laughter; we can’t call her; we won’t
be able to hold her tightly in our arms one last time and let her know how much
she is loved…<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feared, for many years, that Mum’s passing would be the single most
devastating event in my life and that I’d struggle to carry on without her.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now that awful time has come, and through the sustained period of limbo
between her leaving us and her funeral, the greatest solace has come from the
legacy of love she left us – and we were truly loved.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We were not a financially wealthy family and we went through some
extremely tough times, but what we were never starved of was love. We always
knew just how much Mum loved us, and she always knew just how much we loved
her.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I always thought that losing Mum meant losing her love, but I realise,
now, that the love is never going to go away and it’s as greatly cherished as
when she was here with us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sure, the past week or so has been tough on all of us - as have the two
and a half months previous, when she was ill in hospital - but as much as I
understand and have come to terms with the truth that she’s physically gone
from this world, forever, what’s also true is that her spirit has not. It
endures, within us and around us. It really is like she’s just gone into
another room. There has been no disconnection of that bond of affection we’ve
always felt with her.<br />
<br />
There may be the sadness and fear of grief in our minds, but our hearts are
still packed full of that love she radiated for all the years we were fortunate
enough to have her with us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When she was frail and her mental faculties began to decline, out of
the blue, she dictated a text message to Paul, to send to me. It read:<br />
<br />
“Forgive yourself as we forgive you. I love everyone in the world. I hope God
loves everyone even half as much as I do.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes, she was on morphine… but…<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our Mum was an angel of a woman; a gift to all of us here – such a
special and beautiful soul to have graced our lives…<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, I hope, rather than mourn her loss, today, we can all celebrate her
life and remember the great things about her, of which there were many.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you all for coming here today. Your love is a great strength,
too.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I simply couldn’t have read that out loud, in front of all
those people. It was hard enough to hear the words in my own head when I wrote
them. Also, funeral crying works faster than a zombie virus and I didn’t want
to be the one to start that particular apocalypse…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Steve stumbled through the words, at times… fighting back
tears… later telling me it was because I’d used too many big words. He did what
I couldn’t, though, and for that I’m so grateful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My sister was inconsolable, bless her beautiful heart. She
was sobbing so hard when the minister delivered the committal and the curtain
closed around my Mum’s coffin. We all remained British and kept to our seats,
when I know that everyone in the room – myself included, of course – wanted to
go over and wrap our arms around her. She had her own sons beside her, though,
and we knew they were looking after her as well as we could hope to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We children of Brenda Veronica Floyd lined up, shook hands
and hugged those who had attended the ceremony, then the close family went to a
pub in Carlisle to reminisce and contemplate life without her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know what I’m experiencing isn’t unique to the world, but
it’s unique to me. I have been offered so many comforting words from others,
relating to the passing of their own parents and family, and I have now learnt
through experience a more acute sense of empathy with the countless other souls
on the planet who have faced this greatest loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Present awareness has saved me. I know that the ‘old me’ would
be wanting a rope right now… and not because he’d just read 50 Shades of Grey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead, I want to do more with my life, in tribute to the
woman who gifted me this whole Universe and made it my playground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to thank everyone for their inspiring kindness and
comforting words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
Life does go on… love <b><i>does</i></b> go on…</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-61229826035801073282013-03-19T08:58:00.002+00:002016-11-10T04:50:48.601+00:00RIP Brenda Floyd, My Mum<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GoWCIzpByNQ/UUgm81-GY3I/AAAAAAAAA1s/aYA2aukIVgA/s1600/LoveHeart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GoWCIzpByNQ/UUgm81-GY3I/AAAAAAAAA1s/aYA2aukIVgA/s320/LoveHeart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>When my oldest brother woke me on Sunday morning, around
half past six, with the news that my Mum had passed away, I think the first
thing I felt was relief that the suffering I’d witnessed over the previous week
had ended.</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We knew it was going to happen. She’d been almost entirely
unresponsive and had barely taken in any nourishment for that same period, and
it was decided on Saturday that the kindest thing we could do was agree to let
her go, so her saline and antibiotic drips were stopped and her painkillers
were increased, to make her as comfortable as possible.<br />
<br />
I am the youngest of her five children. She often called me her baby, despite
the fact – at 6’4” – I’m the tallest (and, currently, broadest) of all my
siblings. None of us wanted her to leave us, but that awful fear was outweighed
by love and the desire to do the right thing by her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">No matter, though, how much we’d braced ourselves for the
inevitable, there was still a sense of icy shock when it happened… like the
involuntary gasp made when plunging into cold water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I got dressed and went downstairs. With life framed in a
surreal daze, I spoke with my two brothers who live here, at my Mum’s house in
Carlisle, in quiet tones, getting a grasp of the situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My sister and another brother were staying at a hotel in the
city, having travelled up the previous day to see Mum, and they were already on
their way to the hospital.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was set to get in the car with my other brothers and head
there, too, but I really didn’t want to. I asked them if I could stay at home
and they totally understood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It’s not a decision I regret. My Mum used to tell me that,
once a person had passed, their body isn’t the person any longer… it’s just a
shell… and I preferred to remember her as the vibrant soul she was, rather than
an inanimate remnant lying in a hospital bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When they all returned, a few hours later, we hugged and
talked, reminisced and even laughed at times. We had all been blessed by her
magical love, and that was and remains such a great strength in these dark days
we’re stumbling through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Later, after my visiting sister and brother had left, my ex,
Shirley, dropped by. We broke up in the middle of last week, but we’re still
great friends. She’d journeyed up from London to attend a funeral, in
Newcastle, of another of her exes, and she made a detour to Carlisle (on the
opposite coast) to drop off my things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We went for a sandwich and a coffee in the bar of a hotel in
the next village, then I took her to one of my childhood playgrounds; the River
Eden, which is (at least, when it’s not in raging flood) as tranquil a place as
the name suggests. We hugged, held hands and sighed a lot, strolling without
urgency along the banks of the river.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Breakups are often traumatic affairs, but Shirley is a
blessing and she helped me so much on Sunday, despite dealing with her own
sadness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was a surreal day, in all… and I did break and sob my
heart out later in the evening… but the sense of loss wasn’t close to as
violent as I may have feared, in all the years of fearing the coming of that
day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Although I’ve been fluctuating and feeling somewhat numb,
I’m coping far better than I imagined I would. There are two reasons for this:
the first is that I’ve been able to practice what I preach and invoke the power
of present awareness, and the second is down to the fact, in the middle of all
this heartache, the love that my Mum blessed my siblings and I with is still
mighty and unwavering, despite her physical passing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The awful truth of losing her presence hasn’t at all resulted
in the feeling that we’ve lost her love. It has given us all a great strength
of endurance, and I feel sure – as many people have suggested on Twitter and
Facebook – that this love will reassure and bolster me in all my days to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My Mum was born Brenda Wise in 1939, months before the
outbreak of World War II. She was actually bombed out of her home as a child,
after a neighbouring house was hit in a German air raid. Birkenhead, just
across the River Mersey from Liverpool, was one of the main shipbuilding ports
in the UK, so was a regular target of Hitler’s Luftwaffe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The youngest of an astonishing nine children, she lost her
own mother to cancer when she was just seven-years-old and was then brought up
by her oldest sister, Betty, and her husband, Bill – the parents of one of
Canada’s most celebrated comedians, Roger Abbott, who passed away in 2011.
Along with Roger’s older sister, Jacki, the three of them lived like siblings,
and my Mum was actually due to emigrate to Canada with them all, in the early
1950s, but decided, at almost literally the last moment, that she wanted to
stay with her brothers, sisters and Dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was a decision that eventually gifted me this Universe
I’m experiencing. Her life and fortunes would have been so different if she’d
got on that boat. The ‘Canadian’ branch of the family are all very well off and
my Auntie Betty is still alive and kicking, just a few years from her
centenary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Instead, my Mum remained in post-war Britain, with all its
sacrifice and suffering, and got locked into the working-class life of hard
graft and having little, living hand-to-mouth, which is something she never really escaped from.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She met my Dad, Peter Floyd, in the early 1960s and ‘naivety’
led to the impending birth of my sister, so a shotgun wedding being the order
of the day, they got married not long after. (It was actually their 50<sup>th</sup>
wedding anniversary in February, just gone, though they separated – never
getting round to an actual divorce – around 30 years ago. We chuckled about it,
suggesting they get back together, to which my Mum replied: “Sod off!”)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A series of unfortunate malfunctions in contraceptive
measures led to the birth of my other three siblings, before the family moved
from Birkenhead to Carlisle, after my Dad found a job at the newly-opened
Pirelli tyre factory in the city, in 1970… the year my closest brother was
born.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was born in 1974. She was on the pill at the time and
though the family was already suffering from financial hardship, it wasn’t an
option that I be denied life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I grew up, I remember my Mum telling me, on occasion,
that she went to a very well-known psychic medium in the city called Mrs Cummings, and
she said that I had been born ‘for a reason’. My Mum joked that this reason was
to test her, but I know I did, too many times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We were the poor family on the estate. My Dad drifted in and
out of jobs and was unemployed for a long time. We’d just witnessed ‘The Winter
of Discontent’ in the UK, and there was another major recession at the turn of
the ‘80s. Although I can’t remember it myself, my siblings recall a time where
we lived off potatoes and chives that were grown in the back garden of the
house I’m writing in, now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But although we may have been financially challenged, we
were never poor in regard to the love we received, and the primary source of
this love was my Mum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My Dad left when I was eight or so and I only saw him on a
handful of occasions after that, over the next decade, but my Mum’s strength
and support was constant and unwavering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A single parent, she got a job at a biscuit factory in
Carlisle, then, later, a sweet factory, working absurdly long hours just to
make ends meet, put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. She
would often work seven days a week, waking at 6am each morning and – during the
week days – not returning home until 9pm in the evening. It would be a 12:30pm
finish on a Saturday, and 4:30pm on a Sunday. Often, she’d work months without
a single day off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was about then that I started showing symptoms of being a
‘problem child’. In my early teens, I began truanting from school. I would go
up to our local shop and get things on credit… essentially stealing from my
Mum, because I knew that she’d have to pay the bill… and I’d gorge myself on
sweets and cakes, feeling utterly miserable and ashamed of myself. By the age
of 14, I was 22 ½ stone (315lb/143kg). I was very tall back then, but still
disproportionately fat. I used to feel like a cuckoo’s chick that had been left
in a wren’s nest, working the poor mother wren to despair, trying to feed the
monster that she’d taken charge of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As my teens passed and I moved into my 20s, I repeatedly
ended up back at home, locked in a repeat-cycle of depression. I drank too
much, I half-heartedly attempted suicide on numerous occasions, then made more
serious efforts in my late 20s, but somehow managed to stay alive.<br />
<br />
As frustrating and heart-breaking and down-right annoying it must have been for
her, to see me go through that spiral of self-hatred over and over again, she
never gave up on me. Although she would have been completely justified in
kicking me out and turning her back on me, she never did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was not a good son, but despite my failures, I was a loved
son, and it’s that knowing which helps me so much, in these dark days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In recent years, things became much better. After my
awakening, she watched her baby boy grow into something different; she was so
relieved to see me living my life outside the shadow of depression, achieving
things that may have seemed impossible in the years before…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had hoped that she’d have been around long enough for me
to really take care of her, to build a level of success that would enable me to
reward all those years of tireless love and patience with a more comfortable
life in her retirement, but, sadly, it didn’t work out that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is where my awakening – and the gift of the ability to
practice present awareness – has been such a saving grace, because although I
could dredge my memories and come up with a thousand reasons to emotionally
damage or even physically destroy myself, in the midst of this grief, I know
that I would just be reacting to the egoic mind’s compulsion for suffering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The past is gone and I cannot change that, so losing myself
by wishing I could is futile and counter-productive to what I know my Mum would
have wanted, which is for me to be happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The future, too, could be a source of the most agonising
pain, torturing myself by trying to visualise all the years ahead without her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So, here I am, in the now… selecting the best memories and
cherishing them, rather than feeling compelled to take the worst and crush
myself under what would be their inescapable gravity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Last month, while sitting with my Mum in hospital, my
brother sent me a text, passing on this message from her:<br />
<br />
<b>“Forgive yourself, as we forgive you. I
love everyone in the world. I hope God loves everyone even half as much as I
do.”</b><br />
<br />
Fairplay, she was whacked-up on morphine at the time and may have turned into a
bit of a hippy in her twilight days, but I’ll always remember these beautiful,
poignant words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was gifted life through the love of this angel woman, my
Mum. Perhaps, as that medium said long ago, I <b><i>am</i></b> here for a reason, and
though the days, weeks and months ahead may be painful at times, I know that I
will continue to thrive and build my new life, without her, so I can explore
what use I can be to the world.<br />
<br />
I will miss her, but I will not miss her love, because the love is still here,
in me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><em>(P.S. If anyone has the will and ability to contribute to my
‘fighting fund’… I need carpets and somewhere to hang my clothes!
Donations would be most welcome through PayPal, at
‘Lesism@btinternet.com’. Anything would be greatly appreciated.)</em></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-45213872733939028332013-03-15T13:01:00.001+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.558+01:00Stop. Look. Listen.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s9OL2URVMyI/UUMa-WBo_8I/AAAAAAAAA1U/sIy3PLdC7yI/s1600/Listen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s9OL2URVMyI/UUMa-WBo_8I/AAAAAAAAA1U/sIy3PLdC7yI/s320/Listen.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I’ve been reminded once again, over the past few days, just
how powerful a tool the practice of present awareness is, and how much strength
can be drawn from anchoring ourselves in the moment.</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Facing up to the <a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/facing-my-greatest-fear.html" target="_blank">impending loss of a dearly loved parent</a> is
no trivial life event – it’s up there with the very worst - yet, somehow, I’m
doing what I would have considered impossible just a few years ago… I’m coping
with it, and I’m coping well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sure, there are a few jitters and my mind does wander, but
I’m able to check that mental process, draw myself out of thought and back into
the present, and there really is no emotional pain in the present moment, even amidst
such seemingly harrowing circumstances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unconsciously succumbing to the lure of the egoic mind would
have me fall into a pit of agony that would be so difficult to scramble out of…
if I made it out at all. If I <b><i>wanted</i></b> to make it out at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Staying present allows me to reject this pain and see it for
what it is: useless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I were to bang my fists, stamp my feet, pull my hair out
(okay, maybe that’s not an option), wail until my eyes bled or cut my wrists,
just what good would it do anyone?<br />
<br />
It’s not going to change the fact that my Mum is close to death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s not going to be a comfort to my siblings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s not going to help me work towards tackling the
challenges I’ll have to face in the weeks and months ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m certainly not going to beat myself up if I lapse into a
trance of sadness or if I shed tears (which, of course, I do from time to
time), but allowing the tortuous ego to overwhelm my being is not an option…
not any more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The <b><a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/awakening.html" target="_blank">Awakening</a></b> I experienced in February 2010 has, at the
very least, prevented me from the most excruciating suffering of this time I’m
going through… and it may well have saved my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead of collapsing into an irreversible and crushing
depression, as I would have predicted to happen if you’d asked me in January
2010 about the prospect of losing my Mum, I’m becoming stronger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My comfort zone is being ripped down and rather than taking
the drastic step of forcing myself into a purchase of agricultural property, I’m
already laying the foundations of something new which will harbour and sustain
me for years to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is the power of present awareness – an energy of
positive creativity, rather than destructive negativity, that <b><i>you
too</i></b> have access to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is not a superpower possessed by the few or some secret
skill taught to a select sect of the deserving, nor is it the ultimate prize
gained only after decades in pursuit of spiritual understanding; it’s a gift to
all people, ready and waiting for them to discover it inside themselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Imagine a life free from guilt and regret? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Not in a callous way, where you stomp through all your born
days with complete disregard for the feelings of others, but in the sense of
having the insight to know that what’s done is done and can’t be changed, no
matter how much you hurt yourself wishing it could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A life without fear? Being able to recognise and let go of
the thoughts in your head that cripple and cloud your true consciousness,
blighting your happiness and dragging you outside your inherent state of peace,
but which do you and everyone else absolutely no good at all?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The truth is that you can have that, right now, yet there are
still countless millions, even billions of people across this planet who just
can’t see it, and that’s why, when you watch the news, there’s so much chaos
and suffering in the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are a microcosm of the macrocosm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As within, so without.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But beneath the cacophonic clatter of egoic thought in our
own minds, and behind the bluster and blare of global drama, there’s the peace
of true, tranquil consciousness that has no interest in or use for prolonging
strife and hardship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m fortunate to know that peace, within, which will allow
me to grow when I would otherwise have been stagnating in deep suffering, but
I’m not unique in being able to harness the energy of this awareness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m not special. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or perhaps I am… but so, then, is everyone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And for the love of God, Allah, Jehovah, the Universe, the
Great Spaghetti Monster or Darwin’s Monkeys, if your parents are alive and you
haven’t spoken to them in a while, give them a call and tell them you love
them.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-79755624971754855672013-03-14T08:00:00.002+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.574+01:00Facing My Greatest Fear<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My Mum is gravely ill and it won’t be long before I, and my
siblings, and our wider family, and all
her friends, lose her from our lives.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The truth is, she’s already gone… her body remains, but she
has fallen into a long and restful sleep. This has been difficult to come to
terms with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She is loved and we have all been blessed by her love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Her passing has always, throughout my life, been my greatest
fear… and those days of perceived incomprehensible terror have arrived.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have to admit that the past few months have - with the
deterioration of her physical health and cognitive function - thrown me into a
state of incredulous confusion, but clarity returned in the early hours of this
morning and I am no longer afraid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I broke up with my girlfriend, yesterday, and the
culmination of all this chaos </span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">had me, last night, seriously consider whether it was worth
sticking around at all. I couldn’t imagine a future after so much loss. There
are many challenges to come, including the possibility of homelessness and
abject poverty, and the dark imaginings of the mind were clouding my
consciousness.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My Mum brought me into this world and, through my
‘depressive’ years, saved me so many times, when many other parents would have
kicked me out and turned their backs on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What an insult it would be, then, after all that love and
saintly patience, if I were to transmute the positive energy she gifted me into
something dark and negative, which I would use as fuel to compel myself to a
miserable ending.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Although there will be those who say I’m wrong or uncaring,
when the time comes, I’m not going to grieve her physical passing… I’m going to
celebrate her by living my life the best I can; by growing stronger and making
sure that the gift she gave me is treasured and put to the best use I can find
for it.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-48822942478607601462013-02-19T14:02:00.004+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.561+01:00Overcoming Anxiety Webcast<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HQ6To6wr_oQ/USOFrxrmNCI/AAAAAAAAA0s/DongotlnAPc/s1600/Anxiety.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HQ6To6wr_oQ/USOFrxrmNCI/AAAAAAAAA0s/DongotlnAPc/s320/Anxiety.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I took part in my first ever webcast yesterday evening,
joining <a href="http://www.anxietysocialnet.com/" target="_blank">Anxiety Social Net</a> founders Talha and Saloman for their Overcoming
Anxiety series, to talk about my experiences with depression and how I overcame
it with the use of present awareness/mindfulness.</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was a daunting prospect and, as I joked with the guys,
caused me quite a bit of anxiety in the run up to going live, but I had a
really good time. They’re both great hosts and helped put me at ease before and
during the recording – also saving me a few times when my mind when completely
blank mid-sentence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope, if you didn’t get the chance to see it last night,
you can have a view on YouTube, here:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/8djOgvq7PIw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(<i>I’m looking rather tubby in that video, but considering I
had major chest surgery four months ago and have barely moved in three of those
months, it’s cool with me, and also fits neatly in with the refreshed impetus
to get super-fit and manfoxly by the Summer – something I’ll be blogging about
in the next few days.</i>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You can follow Anxiety Social Net at: <a href="https://twitter.com/AnxietySocial" target="_blank">@AnxietySocial</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Their website is:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.anxietysocialnet.com/" target="_blank">www.anxietysocialnet.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And please check out the other videos in the series:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Saloman:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bajbx2eHN4&feature=plcp" target="_blank">www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bajbx2eHN4&feature=plcp</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">James & Misty:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CGlWNNeFuw&feature=plcp" target="_blank">www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CGlWNNeFuw&feature=plcp</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Kevin Patton:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3utt4azwtc&feature=plcp" target="_blank">www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3utt4azwtc&feature=plcp</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-23342090637268097782013-02-15T23:44:00.000+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.546+01:00Rebirthday & Forgiveness<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Three years ago today, in the early hours of the morning, while
pinned down under the opening salvos of what I resigned myself to believe would
be another long attack of deep depression, I experienced the spiritual
<a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/awakening.html" target="_blank">Awakening</a> that changed my life, for good.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It took about an hour of spontaneous enlightenment to wash
away the associated detritus of more than twenty years of mental suffering; the
guilt, anxiety, fear and a whole host of other negative emotions that had
ensnared my being were finally gone, leaving me free to start again and live my
life with a peaceful mind and open heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Literally even just a day before I experienced this shift of
consciousness, I wouldn’t have dreamt it was possible that such a dramatic
change could come about… especially not to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It still feels like a miracle, of sorts. I didn’t pray or
hope for it. It just happened, out of the blue, without me setting down an
intention or attempting to will myself into being happy, at long last. My mind
was clouded with self-loathing and gnawing sadness, and, lost in the fog of
ego, the urge to destroy myself would have been much higher on the ‘things to
do’ list than seeking salvation from the torture I was going through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Although I’m still not quite sure what happened, it felt as
though some supernatural force had decided that enough was enough and since I
couldn’t find my own way to achieving inner peace, they’d give me a boost. That
hour of revelation and the waves of energy I felt pulsate from my crown, down
to my chest, made me feel as though I was downloading a secret rulebook on
being a happy human.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Without the events of that day, it would be impossible that
I’d be writing this now. At best, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the extraordinary
journey I’ve been on over the past three years, and at worst, I may well have
ended up killing myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hindsight’s speculation doesn’t matter, now, though.
Whatever happened happened, and here I am, firmly planted in the now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I believe that this same enlightenment is open to just about
everyone in the world, and – without meaning to sound like I’m full of myself –
I know that, through my writing, I’ve helped an awful lot of people towards
discovering their own space of inner-tranquillity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There have been ups and downs over the past three years, but
the downtimes are simply not comparable to the severe plunges I experienced
before the <a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/awakening.html" target="_blank">Awakening</a>. I have the occasional bad day – like any other, normal
human being has – but I don’t let psychological debris collect in my mind. If
unpleasant or negative thoughts enters my head, I have the awareness to shoo
them away and think of something useful and positive, instead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The greatest lesson I learnt was the gift of forgiveness;
the ability to forgive not just those who we consider have done us harm, but
also – and, arguably, more importantly – to forgive ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Forgiveness of oneself
is an exquisitely liberating process. It allows you to unchain your
spirit from egoic, mental suffering and begin afresh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Forgiving others does not even mean you have to tell them
that they’re forgiven. If you consider someone has hurt you deeply, in the
past, letting go of that pain is a gift, first and foremost, to you. Once you
learn to jettison the thoughts that hurt you – which are only ever negative and
needless – you clear extra space for good and positive energy to enter your
world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When you forgive, do it whole-hearted. Don’t just say it or
think it; feel it in your being and know it in your soul. Anchor yourself in
the present moment and reject the inane and incessant babbling of the egoic
mind. It is generally an idiot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The same peace within me is waiting for you to discover it
within yourself. It’s available right now, if you’ll only see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Peace.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-32712937865190587942013-02-08T14:02:00.001+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.555+01:00Going Back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img alt="http://www.jimdewar.co.uk/wildlife10.htm" border="0" height="226" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uL26M5BN7os/URUEKWld1uI/AAAAAAAAA0A/uLxwsXxTO08/s320/Stag.jpg" title="" width="320" /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>A Guest Blog by Virs Rana</i></b></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>For a
long while, I felt this was a story that could not be told, because I could
make little sense of what really happened. To me, the experience was…and I
hesitate here because I'm not sure how to use this word, ‘miraculous’, that is
to say, outside the normal occurrence. But as we are frequently informed, there
are inexplicable events every day in all areas of peoples’ lives.</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Still,
I found it difficult, as if I was protecting something special that would be
diminished in the telling. And then,
there was my ego trying to convince me I had achieved a certain purity of
heart, or mind, or spirit. But I had not. I was ignorant, self-serving, even
dishonest in my behavior. So why me? Later, I found the answer to that
question, and as the saying goes, 'It’s all in the timing', and the opportunity
has now graciously been given to me…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It
was a clear blue-sky day, mid-morning in the fall, the air still crisp from the
cooling night. The jutting mountains, with their embowering pines and aspens,
provided a comforting seclusion from the outside world. I had driven up the
narrow dirt road near the building site, a plateau of trees and flora turning
to reds and golds among the evergreens. I had to hike the last quarter of a
mile on foot. I grabbed my daypack out of the bed of the pickup truck and began
to scale the circuitous path. I breathed
deeply, as you can only do at the higher altitudes, and the infused fragrance
carried by the morning dew filled my body and thoughts with promise. As I got
about a third of the way up, I stopped…cold…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It
was unusually silent. Birds were not fluttering from tree to tree. Their
chirping had ceased. The chatter of chipmunks was absent. I looked up. There
were no hawks circling overhead. Then I heard it, in the distance, the echoing
crack of a high-powered rifle. Of course, hunting season had just begun. The
pristine ether of the forest would frequently be shattered for the next few
weeks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's
interesting how, to some, that blustering 'civilized' sound is a clarion call,
and, to others, like myself, it is a violent intrusion. The gun argument aside,
I have no problem with humans hunting and foraging for their food. It's the
sport aspect, the antler trophies, that bothers me. But I dismissed these
thoughts, remembering that we come to our 'senses' in good time, or so I
believed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I
continued up the path, which coiled around the plateau, and I remembered what
the local *American Indian realtor who had sold me the site had said,
"Listen to the land. It will tell you where to make your house." I
had heard this before, but didn't put much value in it. But I tried, camped out
on the land, became familiar with its wildlife, and finally picked the spot
with the best view.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Reaching
the top, I threaded my way through the pines and aspens to the southern edge
that looked out over the lush meadow that skirted the plateau. I saw that the
creek snaking across the property was being dammed by a family of beavers, and
a large pond was beginning to form. New neighbors, why not, I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Kaboom!
Again, unfurling from another direction…I turned toward the sound and gazed
into the foliage across the plateau. The red, orange, and green palette seemed
to shudder…Or was it me…No, something had moved, something big. I slowly and
quietly drifted through the trees and into the dense thicket, and froze. It
could be a camper or a hunter passing through, I guessed. Then I saw them, the
pointed tips of a large pair of antlers floating atop the burnished leaves of
brush. Surely, he had caught my scent…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thus
it began, the deliberate and cautious strategy of human and wild animal
'feeling' each other across the great divide of noise and silence, cacophony
and symphony…I moved…It moved…We moved in unison, a dance around the
recognition of other life. Catching glimpses of colors, shapes, seeing more,
and less, quickened by some revived connection… I lost all track of time, but
it seemed like this play was inherently choreographed, an ancient ritual with
roots in a new and vital earth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Moving
on pure instinct, I eventually found myself in a small clearing, I stopped,
feverish, yet surprisingly calm. My thinking returned, and I thought, perhaps,
this wild animal might finally show itself, a curiously improbable notion.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Suddenly
I felt it, a presence I'd never experienced before, a strange energy pulsing,
surrounding me, entering me…I breathed in a different world, comforting,
sustaining, vibrant…Yet not different, familiar, like living the dream that set
you free. I slowly turned to my right and saw it, a most magnificent elk arcing
into the clearing, no more than thirty feet away. Part of me was stunned, and
the other part said, 'This is the way'…I watched as this regal animal stepped
definitively, purposefully, until it stood directly across from me in full
profile. I could see the details of its tawny thick coat and the dark brown
swath highlighting its broad chest. He turned his head toward me, and large
elliptical eyes captured me, told me a story I could not put into words. Then
he dipped his head slightly, like a bow, or greeting, and turned back so he
could watch both his flanks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The
only thing that crossed my mind, at this point, was how to respond. Stand
motionless, just observing? Try getting closer? Closer? No, he had defined the
space. Just observe? No, it was my turn…so I spoke. "Hey, you're an
awesome animal…I appreciate your trust and your greeting…I guess you know
they're after you…" Not exactly profound or poetic, I know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He
exhaled a snort and stomped at the ground with his left front hoof, three
times. I waited, struggling; what could it mean… About thirty seconds passed,
no time, no thinking, just being together; my turn again. "Be careful when
you go to water," I said, "Take care."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then
this mysterious, extraordinary animal casually stepped into the brush a few
yards off the clearing, and was gone. <i> </i>I didn't hear anything and raced toward
his exit point to see if I could spot him running into the meadow toward the
creek. Nothing…another gunshot echoed in the distance.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I
started to come down, or back to reality, as I knew it. What just happened? Why
didn't this hunted elk bolt when he first picked up my scent or heard me on the
plateau? He did not appear to be wounded or disoriented in any way. As I said
previously, I was, and still am not a man of the wild, or some enlightened
being. The stories of Francis of Assisi come to mind. Yes, accidental and
surprise confrontations in the wild happen every day, but this was more than
accidental. This transcended every wild animal to human relationship I had ever
heard of.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finally,
I dismissed it as something I had inflated beyond the coincidental. But it
would not lie. It even came up in my dreams. So I told a good friend, as best I
could, and she said it was a special gift.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"From
whom or what?" I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"That's
for you to decide," she replied.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You
mean like God, or the Universe thing?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Have
you ever heard of that happening before?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She
had me. I thought for a second, then said, "No."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Maybe
you need to listen to the elk," and she walked away.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*Many
'American Indian' friends told me that's what they preferred to be called, rather
than Native Americans, as anyone born in the U.S. can be 'native'.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Virs
Rana</b></i> 2013<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/Virsrana" target="_blank">@VirsRana</a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.mlo21.net/" target="_blank">Website</a></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-685647730767003482013-02-02T00:08:00.002+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.566+01:00The Vision of Success
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fi51llmTII8/UQxW4I-VSII/AAAAAAAAAyU/5jckJEgz-WA/s1600/EmilySandberg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fi51llmTII8/UQxW4I-VSII/AAAAAAAAAyU/5jckJEgz-WA/s320/EmilySandberg.jpg" width="258" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>This week’s guest blogger is Emily Sandberg: an actress,
businesswoman, blogger and </i>genuine<i> supermodel,
having graced the covers of fashion magazines all over the world, including
Vogue. </i></b><i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>She is the founder and CEO of Super Model Central (<a href="http://www.supermodelcentral.com/">www.supermodelcentral.com</a>),
contributes to The Huffington Post and a radio host for a show called,' Matters
of Today", which airs on Blogtalk Radio every Wednesday at 1 PM EST.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>You can follow Emily's adventures on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=emily%20sandberg&src=typd" target="_blank">@Emmalish</a></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fZqHqIQawvs/UQxY6BYbcnI/AAAAAAAAAy8/fMKMAWYkTjU/s1600/Emily3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fZqHqIQawvs/UQxY6BYbcnI/AAAAAAAAAy8/fMKMAWYkTjU/s320/Emily3.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Now Here's A Super Fun Tool To Make 2013 Your Best Year</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>By Emily Sandberg</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2012 knocked the crap out of a lot of us. It's time for a
fresh start and a new perspective towards reaching our goals. We all deserve a
little spiritual magic this year. Who doesn't like a little magic? The very root
of creation is spiritual in nature. It
begins with an intention and an image. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wanted to write an article about one of my favourite tools
I use for creating events and things I'd like to see happen in my life. I
started at a very young age and trust me, I wouldn't continue doing it if it
didn't work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anything that has materialized in my life has begun with a
vision. Some people call it a dream. Others call it goals. I put them all into
the same category – “Things I'd like to see happen”. The next step is to put
these visions and goals on paper. Take them from the inside to the outside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You can use pictures, magazines, glitter, objects or a
simple pen and paper. The point it to get your ideas out of your head and onto
something that feels similar to how you feel when you envision this particular
thing or life or situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My first vision boards I drew myself. They were words and
pictures.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ixGv1eM-0_A/UQxXfIUF_-I/AAAAAAAAAyc/cojtTC_zt3E/s1600/List1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ixGv1eM-0_A/UQxXfIUF_-I/AAAAAAAAAyc/cojtTC_zt3E/s320/List1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How I saw myself: EMILY: Entertaining, Magnificent,
Intelligent, Lively, Yellow Skippy (I liked to skip)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">6 days later I created my first logo to represent me. Here I
am as a clown. Today I know that this
represents me in so many ways I didn't even realize as an 8 year old. You see, I've always been fun loving and
entertaining and I have a very sensitive emotional pain detector, which I
believe is why I am attracted to clowns. I also drew no hands and no feet. That's another part of me that I
instinctively knew but couldn't articulate. I'm trapped in a clown suit. And
the clown is trapped in a world of straight brown lines. A searing red streak goes right across my
emotional centre. The red is encased in darkness. However if I filter this red through the
darkness and wash it out with my beautifully ruffled voice it appears on my
face as a smile. One year later I became
a mime. Ten years following that I
became a model. Three years into modelling I began finding my voice. And twenty
years after I drew this logo, I began to write. I think I may have been onto
something as an eight-year-old. I don't
know how this logo will be materialized in another ten years, but I do know
that it continues to resonate with me today.
It is basic and elementary, but I see parts of myself when I look at
it. I've been able to work through this
puzzle of the clown slowly by the expression of my inner self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's become my first stamp of self-approval.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Another way to create a new reality is to use the tool of
goal setting. I like to envision a life beyond my wildest dreams and then I
work backwards. Right before I left for
New York, I wrote down 5 wildest dream goals for myself as a model. If I
remember them correctly they were:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. Walk on a runway.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Be on David Letterman.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. Be in a fashion magazine.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Be in an advertisement.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. Make enough money for college.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I then took each goal and broke it down into more manageable
steps. For instance, I wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. Work out 5 days/week (I joined a gym and started jogging
or walking every day)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Find out what size I need to be (I used the internet at
my college to find out)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. Buy a fashion magazine to study (I chose Vogue. It was a big thrilling deal carrying it home.
A whole new world to explore!)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Study models in magazines once a week (I cut out the
photos of ones I liked and made collages)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. Eat less food every day (I wrote down everything I ate
and tried to make healthy choices)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>6. Pray and meditate to make sure I'm doing the right thing
every day (this one always ends up on my goal lists)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few years later I had accomplished all of these
goals. Not only had I been in a magazine,
I'd been on the cover of numerous magazines.
I'd been to David Letterman with a musician I'd been dating who
performed on the show. I had enough money in my bank account to pay for college
(I ended up not going). I'd walked not
on one runway but every major runway in the world. And not only was I in one
advertisement, my face was plastered on bill boards, bus stops, phone booths,
busses, on top of cabs and in store windows. I could literally not escape
myself. The entire time I modelled I did
my best to stay in conscience contact with a higher power. About five years in
I got the message clearly that it was time to back away from working full time
and start developing new skills.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I pulled out my pens and markers and magazines and started
cutting pasting and writing. I had no idea what I wanted to do next but I knew
that if I could capture the feeling visually, it would help me get focused on
the next chapter of my life. Indeed, it
did work. I've used vision boards to
create a marriage, a family, a baby, a home, new mentors, new friends, freedom
in my body... the list goes on and on.
The point is, whatever you want in your life, you have the ability to
create it. It starts with you. And you
can start just like my 8 year old did by writing down your name and make an
anagram of yourself describing your most magnificent qualities. Try it! It's
super fun!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The point of a vision board is to give yourself a visual
reminder and focus of what it is you'd like to create. Vision boards help give
us an image to manifest. Much like dreams at night, vision boards don't have to
be literal. For instance, planes and watches and jewellery tend to end up on
every board I create. I don't know what exactly they're meant to represent but
they feel right so I include them. One day,
it'll make sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The past 5-6 years my goals have been mainly internally
focused on emotional clarity and spiritual growth. But this year my goals have gone from
internal growth to external growth so I thought it'd be fun to share with you
my goals and then revisit them in a year to see how far I've come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's the vision boards I'm working on for 2013 (click to enlarge):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JFtRRwV-qfM/UQxX3YX7d1I/AAAAAAAAAys/1y6vOgaEq4c/s1600/Board1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="209" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JFtRRwV-qfM/UQxX3YX7d1I/AAAAAAAAAys/1y6vOgaEq4c/s320/Board1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's one I did with my girlfriends. There are some images
that mean literal goals for myself and others that are more symbolic and I
included them because they "felt right".<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gV_yDR-HXVw/UQxYDq0Te5I/AAAAAAAAAy0/GbzwzjbkZCQ/s1600/Board2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gV_yDR-HXVw/UQxYDq0Te5I/AAAAAAAAAy0/GbzwzjbkZCQ/s320/Board2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My friend Dean came over to visit one afternoon. We hadn't seen each other in quite some time
so I thought it'd be fun to create vision boards while we sat in my office and
caught up with each other. After we were
both finished, we shared our visions with each other. I told him what I saw in his board and he
told me what he saw in mine. That really
opened my perspective and shed light on things I hadn't seen but he saw in me.
Super fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'll be adding to both of these boards throughout the year
and next January I'll take a look at how my life has evolved to mirror my
vision. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, today, I challenge you to go out and create a vision for
yourself. Here's an easy way to get started:
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1. Start by keeping a journal on your desk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2. Every day write down one thing that happened that was
unexpected but for which you are grateful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3. Begin to create images that represent a feeling or an
event or change you'd like to see in your life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4. Put it in a place that you can see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5. Watch you world change and keep track of it in your
gratitude journal!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Have fun! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>By Emily Sandberg</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.supermodelblogger.com/">www.supermodelblogger.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=emily%20sandberg&src=typd" target="_blank">@Emmalish</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-14302466599661705812013-01-28T22:19:00.000+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.541+01:00Disidentifying From Depression<br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">It saddens me when I read profiles on Twitter and biographies on other social media outlets, where people state, almost proudly, that they are depressives or have other mental health issues.</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I did for more than two decades, until a few years ago, many people seem to wear depression as a badge or flash it, on introduction, like a journalist would their ‘Press Card’, as if saying: “This is who I am.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As much as I feel it’s important – vital, in fact – to communicate and discuss our feelings in regard to these disorders of the mind, I think it’s counter-productive to identify with depression as if it’s a central part of who we are. It’s not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The more we attach ourselves to the idea (i.e. the dysfunctional thought) that we are in some way ‘faulty’, the more we galvanise that notion, within. It becomes a form of self-discrimination, perpetuating the ego’s perceived control over us, and the more we feed our ego, the tougher it is to break the cycle of critical over-thinking, which is the source of emotional anxiety and pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Acknowledgement and acceptance of any depressive episode is imperative in taking the first steps to overcome it, but no more than a person who has cancer would call themselves a cancer, those who experience depressive states do not have to identify themselves as depressives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I doubt there is one person who has experienced or is experiencing depression that doesn’t have a whole host of other, positive qualities that far outshine that perceived negative.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I walked for too long in the shadow of my ego, much to the detriment of my early life, but I don’t – now – consider myself a depressive, a recovered depressive, a depression survivor or anything else along those lines.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m a human being. There are good days and not so good days, but the adoption of a positive frame of mind and the rejection of the egoic compulsion to think I’m imperfect means there are no more terrible days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope some people find this post useful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A great site to discuss depression, read inspiring stories and find real help, rather than sympathy and the perpetuation of misery, is Ruby Wax’s ‘Black Dog Tribe’:<br /><br /><b><a href="http://www.blackdogtribe.com/" target="_blank">www.blackdogtribe.com</a></b></span></div>
Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-18041059222398931442013-01-26T15:41:00.001+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.543+01:00The Weight of the World<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>“My head’s full of the screams of all the dead and dying
children in all the world’s war zones and in Americas colleges and schools.”</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the people I follow on Twitter sent me this message
earlier in the week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I replied:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“No, it's not. Your mind is making all that noise and it's
helping nobody - not the kids and certainly not you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At first glance, my response may seem unsympathetic and,
perhaps, flippant, but there’s a wisdom behind those words which I received
through experience. I can relate to this person’s fears and ‘dark imaginings’
(as Max Ehrmann calls them, in <a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/desiderata.html" target="_blank">Desiderata</a>) because they used to be my fears,
too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I used to worry about everything I could find to worry
about. I’d actively hunt down subject matter that would help me wallow in that
fear, such as watching footage of the Asian Tsunami or the World Trade Centre
atrocity. I’d consider what it must have been like to be on the beach and see
that tremendous wave coming, or to feel the floor beneath my feet give way in
those towers, visualising myself utterly powerless to prevent my imminent doom
and demise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Did my grim empathy do anyone any good? Did it force time to
rewind and allow me to save lives? Did it comfort the survivors or the families
of the dead?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No, all it did was help exacerbate the depressive, negative
swirl of thought in my mind, further deepening the darkness of my perception of
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This process of thought was no use at all, to anyone. Quite
the opposite: it caused mental torment within myself and that negative energy
would have spread to the people around me, either through my communication with
them, or because of my general sullen demeanour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Adopting the pain of others in such global events – when you
were not directly or even indirectly touched by those events, except to read
about it or watch the video footage on the news - is, at best, futile, but it
can also be very damaging to a person’s mental wellbeing…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Taking on these burdens are an example of how the ego
schemes to keep us unhappy, and while this dysfunction of the egoic mind
remains unchecked, it will always seek new attachments to fear and pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Your life could be, to all intents and purposes, perfect,
but without the ability to discern the quality and value of your thoughts, your
ego will find fault in anything it can and lure you back into a false
perception of imperfection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When you can’t get to sleep at night, or your days are
consumed by macabre thoughts about such events, and you haven’t actually
experienced those events first hand, then you are imagining it and your own
mind is hurting you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is a false, selective and imaginary pain – and why would
you want to imagine such horrors and play them in your head, when you weren’t
involved?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The massacre of young children at Sandy Hook Elementary
School, in December of last year, was something that every good-hearted person
in the world would find abhorrent, and the outpouring of sympathy and sadness
was – of course – a natural reaction to such a terrible event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But what about the multitudes of children killed in the
conflict in Syria, or those starving to death in Sub-Saharan Africa? What about
the baby girls murdered or abandoned in India, because they were born the ‘wrong’
sex? What about the kids the world over who live and work on rat-and-disease-infested
waste dumps to find scraps of metal they can sell, for a pittance, to
recyclers? What about those who live both here and abroad who live in misery,
under the constant threat of mental, physical and/or sexual abuse from the
people they should most be able to trust?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you consider them all and take their pain as your own,
before too long you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And here’s the truth: that weight is not yours to bear, so
let it go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Relinquishing that pain does not mean that you don’t care.
In fact, it puts you in a stronger position to do something that may actually
be of use.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Leave the true, close-up grief to the survivors of these
tragedies and give them your strength when they need it, or leave them alone,
if they express that wish. (How many TV trucks turn up at school massacres and
doorstep the families of the victims, when those families have asked for
privacy?)<br />
<br />
If you’re worried about the world, the most positive thing you can do, today,
is to clear up your inner-environment – i.e. yourself – and make it a calmer
and more peaceful place to live.<br />
<br />
Once you’ve mastered that, you’ll radiate positive energy to those around you. Be
kind to those you love (and even to those you don’t), make them smile when you
have the chance and do what you can to help, when they need it (which isn’t
necessarily when you think they need it).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To focus solely on the perceived negatives of this beautiful
and vibrant planet is like viewing in a mirror the incredible machine that you
are in command of - the human body; one of the most complex and brilliant
organisms in the known Universe - and deeming it unworthy and imperfect because
your mind judges the nose to be the wrong shape.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>“With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is
still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”</b> – Max Ehrmann,
<a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/desiderata.html" target="_blank">Desiderata</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cxo-Ia5nT0E/UQK9PJnKxZI/AAAAAAAAAxY/Uu-5jRa96fQ/s1600/NoObject.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cxo-Ia5nT0E/UQK9PJnKxZI/AAAAAAAAAxY/Uu-5jRa96fQ/s320/NoObject.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>A guest blog by <a href="https://twitter.com/AlyHazlewood" target="_blank">@AlyHazelwood</a></b></i></span></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If money was no object, what would you do with your one short life? This question
has been bouncing around in my head for a couple of years now. I feel that 2013
is the year to finally address it with focus, clarity and vigour.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve had several job changes throughout my career history. I
started out in I.T sales, moved to I.T Recruitment, then Financial Services,
eventually ending up running the European operation of an American soft drinks
company. In between these soul-numbing, desk-bound jobs, I spent several years
travelling around the world, having the kind of life-affirming, deeply
connective, free experiences that are the ones you really remember with
fondness in your twilight years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finally, at the age of 29 and with the encouragement of my wonderful
female boss, I decided it was time to think about my future. I knew that it
couldn’t possibly play out behind a desk; it just wasn’t ‘me’. Having been
passionately interested in all things artistic and mercurial, I longed for a
creative outlet. I researched careers in TV, Journalism and the Music Industry
and, with a mortgage to pay, found myself daunted by the prospect of embarking
on a lengthy study schedule, or a low paid internship the likes of which are so
common in the competitive creative industries.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I settled on a course in Make Up Artistry, figuring that it
was a career I could slowly build around 2 part-time jobs that kept the roof
over my head. Since childhood I’d shown flair for painting, colour and
composition, and as a rather lonely only-child, I learned to love the state of
immersion and flow that accompanied my artistic endeavours. So I quit my job, and
went back to school just as I turned 30. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A combination of good luck, natural ability, being in the
right place at the right time, and application of the business skills I’d
gained during my years in a corporate environment, resulted in my career as a
make up artist taking off with rocket speed. Not for me the usual route of
years of unpaid assisting. Instead upon graduation, I was catapulted into
working with huge international music acts at MTV and within a year was signed
to a top London agency, having left behind the part-time jobs and bar work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was an interesting time in my life; I relished the
freedom of being my own boss, the international travel, celebrity clients,
great money, and the creative outlet I’d been longing for. I felt blessed and
thankful. But I also felt the familiar sadness that comes from not quite
fitting in. I quickly discovered that the fashion industry wasn’t ‘me’ either. And
I couldn’t shake off the disquiet I felt about contributing to the global
media’s warped portrayal of female ‘perfection’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">10 years on and the tide is turning once again. At times, I
feel I’ve lived a hundred lives already. However, the last 2 years have seen a
concentrated period of change and self-inquiry borne out of years of suffering,
insecurity, depression and dysfunctional relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The final proverbial straw was the end of a relationship
that meant the world to me. It wasn’t a good relationship, but I loved him
deeply nonetheless. After it’s inevitable, scorching breakdown, and the
subsequent destruction of every mechanism I had formed to cope with life thus
far, I awoke one cold morning when there were no more tears left to cry to the
realisation that something had to change.<b><i> </i></b>I had been broken open and I had to
<i>stay</i> open.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For me, this has taken the form of meditation, yoga,
mindfulness training, volunteering and spiritual enquiry. Everything I learn
brings me to a state of realisation that I know nothing and this requires me to
be profoundly gentle with myself. I have been helped (and sometimes gently
nudged) along this road-of-no-return by incredible, light-filled people such as
<a href="http://www.jamiecatto.com/bio.html" target="_blank">Jamie Catto</a>, <a href="http://simononthesofa.com/" target="_blank">Simon Paul Sutton</a>, <a href="http://almeriabushcraftdesertsurvival.wordpress.com/about/" target="_blank">Neil Hill</a>,
<a href="http://londonfieldsyoga.co.uk/" target="_blank">Elizabeth Garvey</a> and of course,
our very own Lesism. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes I buck and writhe against the challenges that come
with increased awareness, and have been known to whine “can’t I just go back to
sleep?’ But in reality, I could never - <i>would</i>
never - choose to do or experience things differently, for I may never have
arrived at this calmer, happier place. Depression and his thuggish friend
self-loathing no longer take up residence in the shuttered rooms of my consciousness.
Instead, they pass through quietly as I tip my hat in acknowledgment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Perhaps it’s simply one of the inevitable symptoms of
getting older, but I have found myself repeatedly questioning ‘What use can I be
to our beleaguered little planet?’ rather than “Why don’t I fit in?” Furthermore,
upon the recent sorrowful, but not unexpected discovery that I’m unable to
conceive, ‘What will be my legacy?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span lang="EN-US">“Far and away the best prize that life offers is
the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” </span></i><span lang="EN-US">Here Teddy Roosevelt
made a most salient point.</span><i><span lang="EN-US"> </span></i>Of course, being a make up artist is
fun, it often doesn’t feel like work at all, and can at times be creatively
rewarding, but is this really <span lang="EN-US">the most passionate,
world-changing work I am capable of? And I don’t mean world changing in an
egoic, look-at-me-aren’t-I-great sort of way, nor in a Nobel Peace Prize
winning way. I mean, what can I do, however large or small, to make a positive,
lasting difference to people’s lives? What can I give of myself?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s a tough question.
It gives rise to feelings of doubt about my ability to affect any kind of
positive change in the world; after all, who do I think I am? Gandhi? It also
triggers me into deeply held feelings of fear, fear of loss, of money, status,
my home, and at its core, loss of the self. This last one is a tricky customer.
With awareness I can shine the light of truth onto this preposterous notion,
for there is no ‘self’ to ‘lose’, just a constructed and conditioned set of
ideas I have about my ‘self’. However this devious character often operates
under the radar of awareness, subtly spreading its icy tentacles of egoic fear
up my spine until I feel paralysed, immobile…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Despite the annoying, insistent
voice of my demon inner critic, this month I’m embarking on the first of a
series of courses in Non-Violent Communication, a process created by the
inspirational Marshall B Rosenberg to bring about harmony, empathy and
connection between humans. There is not a single person in the world that does
not have a relationship of some kind to another person, and I’d bet my money on
the fact that at times, we all suffer imbalance, disturbance and disconnection from
the souls we nudge up against.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I passionately believe
in the benefits that Non Violent Communication can have on the individual, i.e.
me, and that subsequently, bringing it to a wider audience can be a vehicle for
long-lasting, positive change in the world. So I’m making baby steps towards <i>being</i> the change I want to see in the
world. I <i>also</i> passionately believe in
petitioning the universe for the things I want, and what I want right now is an
opportunity to change the conditions of my life and career so that I can be of
service. Perhaps someone reading this article will be the most qualified person
imaginable to help bring about this change. If that’s you, please holler. I
come armed with bags of enthusiasm, drive and pluck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have no idea what
lies ahead for me, or whether I’ll make a ‘success’ for want of a better word,
of this new phase of my life. But I can’t spend a lifetime wondering ‘what
if?’. Would you join me on a path of self-actualisation if you could? If not,
what would <i>you</i> do, if money were no
object? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span lang="EN-US">If you are interested
in the work of Marshal B Rosenberg you can watch one of his talks on YouTube </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek1jKidJt60" target="_blank"><span lang="EN-US">here</span></a><span lang="EN-US">. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span lang="EN-US">And further useful
links for those wishing to change their lives: <a href="http://www.liveyourlegend.net/" target="_blank">www.liveyourlegend.net</a></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/AlyHazlewood" target="_blank">@AlyHazlewood</a></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Blog: <a href="http://thetruthaboutbeauty.co.uk/" target="_blank">http://TheTruthAboutBeauty.co.uk</a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Website: <a href="http://aly-hazlewood.co.uk/" target="_blank">http://Aly-Hazlewood.co.uk</a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Facebook: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Truth-About-Beauty/141616932531002" target="_blank">http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Truth-About-Beauty/141616932531002</a></span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-75733855006236752892013-01-17T20:29:00.000+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.571+01:00Lose to Win<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lL0kCOyZn3I/UPheVGsMdSI/AAAAAAAAAw4/PEKvdRf12aw/s1600/CornellBalls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lL0kCOyZn3I/UPheVGsMdSI/AAAAAAAAAw4/PEKvdRf12aw/s320/CornellBalls.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>A guest blog by <a href="https://twitter.com/CornellThomas" target="_blank">@CornellThomas</a></i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Every game I have ever played ended up with a winner and a
loser. I never played soccer when I was little so I never experienced what a
"tie" was like. Either I was walking off the court smiling with my
head high, or I was walking off upset and disappointed. In sports you learn at
an early age the difference between the two.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You are taught winning is everything. After you
"win" a game you get to go out for ice cream, mom and dad are a lot
happier, and even your coach kind of forgot the three plays you screwed up in
the fourth quarter. In contrast after you "lose" there is no ice
cream, mom and dad are giving you a detailed breakdown of your teams’
performance, and your coach somehow has channelled the power of time travel and
can recall each and every one of your mistakes, including the one while you
were on the bench.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No one celebrates a loss. In the coaching world you hear
phrases like, "there’s no such thing as moral victories". Which
basically means ok so you only lost by four points to a really good team but
you lost, still no ice cream. I think what a lot of people (including myself
sometimes) tend to forget is there’s a bigger lesson in losing than in winning.
Now that’s not to say you should lose every game just to gain more knowledge,
but you shouldn’t look at failures like you're a failure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I was seventeen my mom decided to reluctantly take me
to my driver’s test. We're talking a little ways back so bear with me on the
car reference. Our family had a Chevy Lumina van. It looked exactly like one of
those bullets that try to kill you in Super Mario Brothers but about 13 feet
long. We didn’t have another vehicle I could use so I did my test with the
soccer mom special. As soon as my tester opened the door he said, "Son I
couldn’t past this test with this van, I'm going to have to fail you before we
even start". He wasn’t kidding either, he took out my sheet and wrote
FAILED, in big red letters across the top of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My instructor then put his seatbelt on and told me to go
through the course. I was perplexed by what was going on. I already FAILED why
the heck am I doing the test still? As we went through the test I realized how
impossible it would of been to pass it, but during it he showed me every little
thing they looked for when determining if a student is a competent driver or
not. After we went through the course I was amazed how much I learned in that
ten-minute span. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Even if I did have a normal sized car, it would have been a
tough test to pass. Back then you could only fail one thing; today I think you
can text while you do the course and still pass. When I came back a month later
I had a different instructor but aced the test.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everyone loves the underdog because it gives us hope that we
can fight past our own failures. Rocky, Rudy, Ralph Macchio (ok the last one
was a reach; I was going with the letter R theme, but in fairness his last name
in the movie Karate Kid did have one) - they all failed before they succeeded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The next time you lose don’t look at what you lost; look at
what you can gain from that loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Web: <a href="http://www.powerofpositivity.net/" target="_blank">www.powerofpositivity.net </a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/CornellThomas" target="_blank">@CornellThomas</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZsU2gOSOxy4/UPheh1hhuII/AAAAAAAAAxA/v9sLOLoFG8c/s1600/CornellThomas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZsU2gOSOxy4/UPheh1hhuII/AAAAAAAAAxA/v9sLOLoFG8c/s320/CornellThomas.jpg" width="220" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-83597812013716924012013-01-17T04:53:00.001+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.576+01:002013: A New Hope<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-g8urn9pkrAM/UPeDMiRvH6I/AAAAAAAAAwk/_qC7LHWYc7U/s1600/Dawn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-g8urn9pkrAM/UPeDMiRvH6I/AAAAAAAAAwk/_qC7LHWYc7U/s400/Dawn.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As 2012 came to a close and the New Year dawned, so, too,
for many people, came a new hope.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2012 – particularly, the 21<sup>st</sup> December - was
touted, for decades previous, as a time of either cataclysm or catalyst to a
new era of peace and cooperation, depending on who you listened to or which
authors you read.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In truth, nothing of any great spiritual significance
occurred on the 21<sup>st</sup>. There was no ‘cosmic moment’; no Galactic
alignment; no balancing of the ‘divine feminine’… no rapture… no earthquakes…
no collision with Planet X/Nibiru.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was, to all intents and purposes, just another day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Those who placed great significance on that day may tell you
otherwise; particularly if they sold a lot of books and seminar seats in the
run-up, imparting secrets of how people could attune themselves to receive the
angel’s blessings, or whatever other spiritual gifts they were touting…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are ‘spiritual teachers’ who remain at least outwardly
convinced (and, I suspect, have fooled even themselves into believing) that
there was a ‘cosmic moment’ and a new, spiritual energy has entered humanity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One prominent angelologist insists that 31% of humanity have
transcended to the fifth dimension, as well as 57% of animals – no doubt,
including some particularly friendly wasps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She also infers that the outbreaks of ‘flu and norovirus is
directly related to the ‘purification process’ of this new energy. Of course,
the truth is that these sicknesses appear <b><i>every single</i></b> winter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Although it may have seemed as though these people were
offering a chance of salvation to their loyal fans, what they were actually
doing was exploiting their fears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As many as one in ten people were afraid of the
eventualities that the 21<sup>st</sup> December, 2012, could bring about. That
fear didn’t just fall out of thin air and into their minds; it was, like most
irrational terrors, taught… or bought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, it’s 2013 and we should all resolve to reject further
‘prophecies’, however well-intentioned they may appear on the surface. We need
to put an end to collective superstition and start living without fear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That’s not to say that we can’t make transformational
changes to improve the world, but we can begin or reaffirm that process today –
right now – by adopting a more positive and cooperative mind-set. We don’t have
to wait for some mystical set day in the future for conditions to become right.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is right, now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Make 2013 your greatest year, then 2014 even better… and so
on…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>“No fate but what we make.” – Sarah Connor, ‘Terminator 2:
Judgement Day’</i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-77111720063870740422013-01-14T21:39:00.003+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.573+01:00Introducing... Orion the Jedi Cat!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/CrxWmKrRPBM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but my superb, little fluffy friend, Orion, is proof that kitties are far superior at advancing their skills in later years.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Orion - non-identical twin of <a href="http://lesism.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/introducing-titan-ticklepuss.html" target="_blank">Titan the Ticklepuss</a> - developed the Jedi Mind Trick ability (displayed in the videograph above) at the aged of 12, and while his brother has to meow loudly to demand us to do his bidding, Orion learnt that waving his paw at his human assistants melts our hearts and makes us carry out his wishes in a much more prompt fashion.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is<b> <i>completely</i></b> irresistible and I'm surprised he doesn't weigh 50kg, since each time we open the fridge, he's there on the kitchen table, paw out, with his cute commandment to feed him bits of ham or chicken, or ham <b><i>and</i></b> chicken.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When he's sitting on the computer desk and we're looking too long at not him, the little paw gently brushes against our forearms and a snuggly stroke is immediately delivered.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't know what compelled Orion to teach himself how to do this, especially in his advancing years, but it was a stroke of feline genius.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Clever boy!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-18452947631399135532013-01-13T02:34:00.001+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.544+01:00Be My Guest<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nn_Dr2zURqw/UPIcyjawygI/AAAAAAAAAvY/UUmSm-1jFp8/s1600/Guest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nn_Dr2zURqw/UPIcyjawygI/AAAAAAAAAvY/UUmSm-1jFp8/s320/Guest.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">UPDATE: Currently unable to take any more guest blogs, due to the fantastic response, but may open the scheme up again in future.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve decided, after many requests over the past couple of
years, to open my blog up to guest bloggers.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The idea is to feature one guest per week, promoting their
writing and their ideas throughout that week in the same way that I would my
own new blogs, then possibly adding them to my ‘blog roll’ of scheduled Tweets
which appear every three nanoseconds in my Twitter feed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Since February 2010, I’ve had over 750,000 individual page
views on my blog, with many articles being read tens of thousands of times, in
over 170 countries around this world of ours. I’ve built up a following of more
than 100,000 people on Twitter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All things considered, it’s not a bad arena to present your
writing to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am looking for quite specific topics, however – which I’ll
detail shortly – and it’s important that any articles I consider publishing to
my social network are quality pieces, completely original (i.e. having not
appeared on your own blog, previously, or lifted straight out of an Eckhart
Tolle lecture) and of a good standard of writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You’ll be fully credited (with links to your
Twitter/Facebook/Website, etc.) and, of course, retain copyright of anything
that I may publish through @Lesism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(I won’t publish anything that’s overtly commercial, but I
am happy to include links to books and so on.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The only thing I ask is that you refrain from re-publishing
the blog on your own site for a minimum of seven days, though I'm happy to remove
content on request.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To the topics…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you’ve read through my blogs, you’ll have picked up that
there’s a general theme of self-help, in areas of present
awareness/mindfulness, spirituality and depression, and those are the subjects
I’d like guest bloggers to write on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, I think I have to make a distinction between
spirituality and religion, because I’m not religious and I won’t publish
fundamental religious stuff, but that’s not to say I would dismiss genuinely
helpful articles that include reference to a person’s faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Also, articles on depression need to be uplifting! Whether
you’ve found a way to cope with it or have overcome it completely, present it
in a way that will inspire and help others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m particularly interested in hearing other ‘Awakening’
stories, and I know there are many of you out there who have experienced the
phenomenon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you feel like you could produce a solid blog on any of
the above (or you have a REALLY GREAT cat story), please email me a pitch at:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="mailto:lesfloyd@gmail.com">lesfloyd@gmail.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please write ‘GUEST BLOG’ in the email header.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Looking forward to hearing from you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hugs,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Les</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="background-color: #d6e2f0; color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'd be <i>most appreciative</i> if you’d give my Facebook Page it a LIKE:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="background-color: #d6e2f0; color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Lesism" style="color: #3d85c6; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/Lesism</a></b></span></div>
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-13405604838745631452012-12-20T18:54:00.002+00:002013-10-05T16:59:21.540+01:00The Transformation of Humanity<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a_nWZZYZQf8/UNNezO7nbeI/AAAAAAAAAuY/BswiQ13tXHA/s1600/Love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a_nWZZYZQf8/UNNezO7nbeI/AAAAAAAAAuY/BswiQ13tXHA/s320/Love.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Good news is rarely reported in this world of ours.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In each minute of the horrendous events in Connecticut, last
week - which left 27 innocent children and adults dead – there were
approximately 255 births across the world… perhaps a thousand new births while
that man I don’t want to and won’t remember unleashed his madness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don’t believe in supernatural evil, but it’s true that
some humans are capable of expressing and executing a most unnatural and
malevolent manifestation of hate. This is a psychological aberration, rather
than demonic influence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The mind – the egoic mind - can become a very dark place,
and it is a human trait that we can become, all too easily, lost in that
darkness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I found out, a couple of weeks ago, that my friend from
school killed herself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ironically, she was a mental-health nurse, and cared for
many people through her career. She made some bad decisions, it seems… she
slept with one or more of her patients, and when that was found out, she
spiralled into that shadow of mind which convinced her that the best option was
to take her life. She died in a mental hospital.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I loved that woman, when I was a teenager… I adored
everything about her… and I mourn her. I am so sad that I wasn’t there to help
her see a way through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I realise she’s like humanity in microcosm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All the people she helped, and all the life she had ahead,
and she must have been so focussed on the negatives that she neglected to
realise how bright and beautiful she was… and is… and how much she still had to
give to the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What she did… it didn’t matter… not in the grand scheme of
things… she just had human feelings with others who had human feelings… but the
pressure from outside caused her to believe that she was no longer useful or
worthy to this world of ours. And she killed herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When tragedies occur, in our world – when many people die at
once – we too quickly assume that it’s the state of our world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What we fail to remember is that for every person who dies,
many children are born; or for every celebrity divorce, multitudes more fall in
love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are a beautiful species, bound by love, and love is such
a special thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We wouldn’t still exist if we didn’t love each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Humanity is transforming all the time. It doesn’t take one
day of superstition to mark this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everyone close to you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everyone you think you can’t love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Forgive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And you WILL transform humanity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And if you can do that, you are a gift to our species and
this Universe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love.</span>Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-86648548411153434132012-08-17T21:46:00.000+01:002013-10-05T16:59:21.578+01:00Present Awareness & the Conditioned Ego<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I want to address some common misconceptions about the practice of present awareness, using a few paraphrased, generic statements – the bones of which have been expressed to me over the past year, in response to various blogs I’ve written.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Firstly, though, I’ll reaffirm that I firmly believe that there are no negatives to present awareness; that it releases us from emotional pain, fear, worry, anxiety, depression and a whole host of other mind-related issues and problems that are too common in our world, up to and including civil and global warfare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Some people aren’t so convinced, to the point they will dismiss and argue against the concept from the outset, without investigating the potential benefits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Human beings have been conditioned to become creatures of ego, through the manipulation of - amongst others - political, religious, corporate and media institutions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you disagree with that and would brush me off as a conspiracy theorist, here are a few questions for you to consider:</span></div>
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<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What makes a person racist? Did they come up with their cancerous belief system themselves, or were they taught it by others – their parents, their communities, etc.?</span></i></b></li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why is there still such animosity against the gay community? Is this the product of individual experience, or is it in response to what religious institutions tell people is right and wrong, and which has seeped into society as a whole – even taken on board by those of a non-religious persuasion?</span></i></b></li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What drives millions of people to destroy each other during national and global conflicts? Is it that every person suddenly decided that they wanted an enemy, or were they told who their enemy was – often, under punishment of social isolation or even death if they disagreed?</span></i></b></li>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, although the thoughts and opinions in your head may well be your experience of life, they’re not necessarily the product of deduction in your own mind – in many cases, they’re enforced upon you through conditioning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The above are extreme examples of the collective ego; our ‘pack mentality’, so to speak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here are four examples of how conditioning affects us, on a smaller scale:</span></div>
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<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A child is three times more likely to smoke if their parents smoke.</span></i></b></li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Girls are ten times more likely to be overweight if their parents are obese.</span></i></b></li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to commit domestic violence as an adult.</span></i></b></li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A child is more likely to experience depression if one of their parents suffered from depression. That risk doubles if both parents were depressed.</span></i></b></li>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No parent wants their child to be an obese, depressed, spouse-beating smoker, but, just as they themselves have been unconsciously conditioned by their parents and society, they unconsciously pass on these flaws to their offspring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There may be arguments on genetics, here, but even with a genetic predisposition to obesity, you still have to physically load the food into your mouth. You don’t gain weight from swallowing air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Likewise, a predisposition to depression does not mean you will suffer from depression, but if your environmental conditioning is full of negativity, causing you self-doubt, low self-esteem and anxiety, you may very well become depressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What can we do about this?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The remedy to unconscious living is conscious living: i.e. present awareness, or mindfulness, or however you prefer to label it – it’s the same thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is available to pretty much everyone, right now, and it’s free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Which leads me to the first of those generic statements I mentioned at the start of this post:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“It’s easier said than done!”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Being happy and content is just about the easiest thing in the world, when you remember to look at life in a positive way – and this is something you already know how to do, instinctively, but which you’ve <i>unlearned</i> through conditioning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What’s really, really, <i>really</i> hard is going through a severe bout of depression, when your ego has tricked you into giving it all your energy and your mind is consumed by negative, destructive, compulsive over-thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The ‘<i>easier said than done</i>’ statement comes from your ego, because your ego doesn’t want you to be happy. It will put mental barriers in the way of that possibility, because it thrives on the suffering it causes both you and itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ignore it. It’s an arse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Rather than the pessimistic affirmation of “<i>It’s easier said than done!</i>”, charge your mind with positivity and say to yourself: “<i>Yeah, I can do that!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What have you got to lose from studying, learning and living a live of present awareness?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Second statement:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Living in the moment would mean abandoning my studies and not caring about my future. My whole life would collapse.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Present awareness doesn’t mean that you float through life, in the moment, disregarding your ambitions and dreams. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Rather, you’ll find that those ambitions and dreams are more readily transmutable into intentions and plans, because once you flush all of the negative crap out of your head, you uncover a seemingly miraculous inner-energy well of creativity, and that floods the space where all that pointless debris you’d clung onto for decades used to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you build a house, you build it in the moment. The placement of every brick, beam and frame is done in the physical, living moment – not three months ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe in three months, you’ll want to put a roof on it, and perhaps you’ll write up some designs and plans for what you want that roof to look like, but you’ll never get the chance to do that if you don’t keep building the walls, will you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Your life won’t collapse by engaging in present awareness. You’ll be able to build it stronger than you ever thought you could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Statement three:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Letting go of my pain from the past would mean I don’t care. These things made me who I am and I don’t want to forget, or I wouldn’t be myself.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I jumped off a wall when I was a young boy and landed on a stick that went through the join in my knee; I once stapled my thumb – the staple went right in and I had to pull it out; I stood on a nail that was sticking out of a plank of wood; I once pressed my finger against a car’s cigarette lighter to see if it was hot… and it scorched my fingerprint off…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don’t jump off walls into bushes any more; I don’t staple myself; I am cautious about nails in planks of wood and I don’t put my fingers on things that I know will probably scorch me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I do all of the above without feeling any pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How absurd would it be if I’d kept all of those things still sticking in me, or stuck onto my sizzling skin, for all these years?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Many of us learn valuable lessons from the episodes in our life that catalyse emotional pain (and remember that nobody can <i>cause</i> you emotional pain – that can only come from within, with your interpretation of their words and/or actions), but what most of us don’t seem to learn is that we need to let that pain go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Without that process of acceptance, forgiveness and closure, it would be like me keeping that stick in my knee… trying to struggle through life, bearing the agony, the wound septic and never healing…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don’t let your ego drag you into the past to justify the misery of your unconscious existence, when the past is nothing but electrical patterns in your brain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Consider… if you could let go of all your negativity, distrust, anxiety, sadness, fear, and so on, and so on…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">… and if you could live with contentment, in peace, with frequent bouts of joy and happiness…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">… do you think your life would be a better or worse experience?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You have something so powerful inside you… and if you haven’t found it yet, but you want to find it, you will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The truth is you could have it right now.</span></div>
Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-91800298395016059602012-08-15T21:03:00.001+01:002013-10-05T16:59:21.580+01:00Desiderata<br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Desiderata, by Max Ehrmann, is my all-time favourite poem. Where some people cling to the words of the Bible or the Koran through arduous, challenging times, I smile at these words.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is a bit of backstory to how I discovered this poem, though…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Seventeen years ago, before the Internet, I met a girl named Jo at the nightclub I used to haunt, in my home city of Carlisle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She was beautiful. Brown eyes, olive skin, a perfect body, and she would have earned a Gold Medal in bedroom gymnastics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It turned out she was not for me… actually, I found out a few weeks later that she was engaged to a police detective in the city, and he had the capacity to get quite annoyed about his girlfriend’s indiscretions… but, ho-hum… I didn’t know that, previously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, when she left, the next morning… a little later, I was going to write in my diary (which I still kept, back then) about the previous night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On the page I was going to write on, I read the words:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“You are a child of the Universe; no less than the trees or the stars. You have a right to be here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jo had scrawled it in there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She seemed the sort of person who could whip those words from her heart, so I always thought they belonged to her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We only ever met each other in passing, after that momentous night, but she’ll always be someone important, to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was around 15 years later, when the world was getting to grips with the Internet, that I put those words she wrote to me into a search engine, and found this wonderful poem:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Desiderata</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Keep interested in your own career, however humble;<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>keep peace with your soul. <o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>it is still a beautiful world. <o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Be cheerful. <o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Strive to be happy.</b></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">© Max Ehrmann 1927</span></div>
Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169917392605496319.post-7095051192343835302012-08-14T17:41:00.000+01:002013-10-05T16:59:21.569+01:00The Cat Olympics 2014<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rwl2dtfV6jw/UCp97rrfCmI/AAAAAAAAArw/nXOZrf9OZ9A/s1600/OlympicKitties.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rwl2dtfV6jw/UCp97rrfCmI/AAAAAAAAArw/nXOZrf9OZ9A/s1600/OlympicKitties.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now that the Queen has finally stopped Jubilating, and with the rather enjoyable London 2012 Olympic Games done and dusted, I get the impression the people of Great Britain (and Northern Ireland) are going to feel a bit lost over the next few years.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With the exception of the impending Paralympic Games, and excluding the remote possibility of a state funeral for yet-to-die former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, there are no great celebrations left on the horizon. We’ve done them all. Granted, we did them well, but now they’re over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, in order to invigorate and ignite the British spirit once more, I’ve decided to push my best idea ever (thus far):</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Inaugural Oxfordshire Cat Pride Olympiad 2014<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QrKGlWPXJRw/UCp-xvkK8GI/AAAAAAAAAsI/kZdDdzGUopY/s1600/GoldCat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QrKGlWPXJRw/UCp-xvkK8GI/AAAAAAAAAsI/kZdDdzGUopY/s1600/GoldCat.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In 2014 (subject to funding), the Oxfordshire town of Wheatley, in England, will be hosting its inaugural Cat Pride Olympiad (which you may have realised is just the same information in the subtitle, above, but padded out a bit to more effectively fill some paragraph space).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Cats, kittens and their personal assistants will gather from all four corners of the globe to compete in a multitude of disciplines, including:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The High Jump of Surprise<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Judged on the vertical launch height achieved by the cat when it is startled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4Ja4qPyqhb0/UCp-bW_cf5I/AAAAAAAAAr4/D00RwZQs5Bc/s1600/Kitten+Surprise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4Ja4qPyqhb0/UCp-bW_cf5I/AAAAAAAAAr4/D00RwZQs5Bc/s320/Kitten+Surprise.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Laser Pen Gymnastics<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Judged on grace and poise, with extra points for red-dot contact and buffoonery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Boxing<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Single and synchronised attempts to fit into the smallest box possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MVJgxJcs-9Q/UCp-_39z8JI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/qgQYA8Sf650/s1600/Cat+Box+Trial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MVJgxJcs-9Q/UCp-_39z8JI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/qgQYA8Sf650/s320/Cat+Box+Trial.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Down and Up the Stairs (Singles)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The cat runs down the stairs, stops stock still in the living room, looks up at the ceiling with lowered ears, growls, then runs dramatically back up the stairs, freaking out the cat’s personal assistant, who now thinks the house is haunted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Down and Up the Stairs (Doubles Relay)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One cat runs down the stairs, stops stock still in the living room, looks up at the ceiling with lowered ears, growls, and the other cat - who was just sitting quietly on a chair, snoozing – spooks and legs it up the stairs, freaking out the cats’ personal assistant, who now thinks the house is haunted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Snow Jumping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How far a confused, cold kitten can jump from the hole they made when you dropped them in deep snow, for a giggle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HV6xbjHzgVk/UCp_PY2KcWI/AAAAAAAAAsY/FniCA2ZOuME/s1600/KittenLeap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HV6xbjHzgVk/UCp_PY2KcWI/AAAAAAAAAsY/FniCA2ZOuME/s320/KittenLeap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Catathlon<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Across a fence, down a wall, through a cat flap, curl into a ball and sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Grass Throw<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Both a timing and distance discipline, beginning from the moment the cat begins eating a clump of grass, then the distance from the cat’s mouth the pool of bile and chewed grass eventually ends up. Double points if it’s on carpet. Triple points if it’s on the cat’s assistant’s bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Superbowl<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How fast can a hungry kitty clean its bowl of meaty chunks?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The 5am Howl<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How loud, in decibels, can a cat meow before its personal assistant feels compelled to get out of bed to feed them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Dressage<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Timing how long it takes, from beginning to dress the cat up in an humiliating outfit, until its personal assistant loses some blood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TCv2tNFyWRs/UCp_ZEt18QI/AAAAAAAAAsg/UwdwGvtzWpU/s1600/CatDress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TCv2tNFyWRs/UCp_ZEt18QI/AAAAAAAAAsg/UwdwGvtzWpU/s320/CatDress.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Synchronised Sleeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Perch of Danger<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The cat’s attempt to find the highest, most precarious place they can sit. Extra points if they fall asleep, there, without falling off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m sure you’ll all agree that this festival of the world’s finest felines will make London 2012 look like a gathering of village idiots, and I hope you’ll all give me your support as I move forward and work towards raising the mere $30 billion needed to ensure the Games are a stunning, and secure, success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This $40 billion will go primarily towards:</span></div>
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<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Cat toys.</i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Cat food.</i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Lactose-free milk.</i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Scratching posts.</i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>14 x 2.5 megaton nuclear warheads, with ICBM delivery systems (for general security purposes)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>A giant, 500ft high, solid gold statue of a cat, with living quarters, which – as Executive Chief King of the Feline Olympic Committee – I’ll live in, during the games.</i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>A hollowed-out volcanic island – which I’ll live in, after the games.</i></span></li>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every single penny of the £55 billion budget will go towards advancing the spirit of cats competing in Olympics, so, please, donate today!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Looking forward to seeing you in Wheatley in 2014! :-)</span></div>
Leshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15739115391051123334noreply@blogger.com15